Who’s ready for more crazy space-witch action? If you answered enthusiastically, then today is your lucky day because we’ve got more of The Acolyte to whine about enjoy. Our Star Wars: The Acolyte Episode 4 recap, spoilers, and theories will take a look at the newest episode of the Disney+ series starring Amandla Stenberg.
To recap, last week, we ventured back in time to show the events that transpired on the night Mae presumably died. We learned that the Jedi are creepers who steal children from their parents and teach them the ways of the Force, a power they also stole and abused. Basically (in Anakin’s voice), from the Acolyte’s point of view, the Jedi are evil. I have a hunch they played a part in the fire that somehow led to the deaths of every witch in the coven, including Osha’s mothers Aniseya and Koril. I also suspect that Koril played a part in the mass execution and is likely the evil Darth Vader-looking thing we saw in Episode 1. She won’t be entirely evil because Star Wars has transitioned from a carefree fantasy adventure to a Game of Thrones knockoff that loves to delve into moral ambiguity.
Still, with five more episodes, maybe Acolyte rights the ship and ends on a high note. There’s still hope.
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Star Wars: The Acolyte Episode 4 recap and spoilers
As a side note, have any of you watched X-Men 97? Good lord, that show rocked. I only bring it up now because to view The Acolyte, I had to purchase a Disney+ subscription. I figured what the hell, dove into the animated series, and had an absolute blast. Highly recommended.
Anyways, The Acolyte opens with that weird-looking Wookie fella wandering through the woods of Kohfar. Google tells me his name is Kelnacca, and he has a date with death. He stares at nearby symbols that look astonishingly like the ones adorned by the witches. Cue mysterious music.
We cut to the one shot of Coruscant Disney bothered to create and once again view another laughably short Jedi lesson. “Keep each movement tight and subtle,” Tormund the Jedi says. Osha appears and watches the lesson with a blank expression. The bell rings, and Osha thanks Jecki Lon for her help (?). Then, Osha explains that Mae is the Jedi’s problem now.
“Someone must find Mae until she does more harm,” she says. “But it’s not me.” Eh, okay. Why can’t it be you? I feel like I would care about these sisters more if the script had given them a sharper backstory, or distinct personalities.
For all we know, this could be Mae.
Scratch that; Mae lands on Kohfar with Qimir. We know it’s her because she wears purple. The “vengeful” Jedi heads into the thick jungle to find Bill Kelnacca.
On Coruscant, Sol meets with more Jedi. They discuss Mae. Sol explains that Mae doesn’t know her master’s true identity, which freaks everyone out. “It’s absurd,” Not Ki-Adi-Mundi exclaims. Clearly, Mae and her trainer are the first to ever wear masks in this galaxy.
Vernestra What’s-Her-Face appears. “That man is playing Galaga,” she snarls, pointing to the white-bearded extra, who is doing his best to look concerned next to a cheap-looking console prop. Then, she gets down to business. “Mae was trained by a Jedi,” she snarls, wandering around the cheap-looking set. I half expect Zordon to appear, and I’m not joking.
“We should alert the Jedi Council,” someone says. Atta boy, Luther!
“No,” Vernestra snaps back. “They would only alert the Senate.” She then suggests extracting Kelnacca from Kohfar. A competent legion of Jedi would’ve done that before traveling back to Coruscant. The Wookie is Mae’s third and final target. So, um, why wasn’t he immediately shipped to safety?
Sol and Vernestra believe Mae is merely a pawn in her master’s scheme. They need to give her something she wants. Cue mysterious music.
Mae and Qimir walk through a forest. Must. Stretch. Runtime.
Back on Coruscant, Sol convinces Osha to go with him to Kohfar to find her sister. Osha, who was apparently wandering aimlessly around the Jedi Temple long enough for Sol to find her, stares at him with a blank expression. This means she agrees to go on the mission.
It’s too bad this show sucks because Lee Jung-Jae is entirely believable as a Jedi Master, conveying a quiet gravitas in line with Liam Neeson’s Qui-Gon Jinn.
Yord sucks.
Sol, Osha, Yord, Jecki, a beaver, and a bunch of dull-looking extras land on Kohfar. They wander around the planet, padding the already scant runtime. Mae and Qimir have been on the same locale for a while now, but we’re told Sol’s camp, who just arrived, is right behind them. Sure.
A winged creature attacks. Sol easily slices it in half. Everyone in Star Wars is always surprised when an alien planet contains actual alien beings. Considering space travel is essential to their life, you’d think the Republic would have a scanning device designed to point out dangerous creatures before the exploration team arrives. Food for thought.
A commercial break allows me to vent about the stiffness of the show’s cast. No one conveys any emotion. Jedi are always Jedi, I suppose, but Osha has all the emotions of a brick. Given the circumstances, one would expect her to experience an emotional struggle, maybe even shed a tear or two. Mostly, she just stares blankly at people.
Nearby, Mae and Qimir rest. She explains that killing Kelnacca without a weapon is her final test. Qimir tries to give her a pep talk, but she has an epiphany and tells him to “F— the hell off.” Her sister is alive, dammit, so she doesn’t need this nonsense anymore. Her loyalty is to Osha, not Qimir’s master. Like a retail worker who suddenly realizes better jobs exist, Mae stomps away from her job in pursuit of greener pastures. We know this new direction excites her because the expression on her face changes from blank to only mostly blank.
I mean, wow. If only she had experienced this change of heart yesterday! Then again, Mae did threaten to kill her sister a few minutes after conveying unconditional love. We’re all a little crazy, I suppose.
Oddly, Mae thinks returning to the Jedi is a good idea. “I’ll just tell them everything I know.” Now, who’s being naive, Mae?
Elsewhere, Osha tells Sol that she can feel the Force, er, Thread, albeit slightly. Their conversation is cut short when the beaver spots Mae. Frightened, the not-so-evil-sister takes refuge inside Kelnacca’s home and finds the poor guy dead, likely from a lightsaber attack. “He’s here,” Mae says with a blank expression.
Sol’s Bad Boys huddle outside the shack and order Mae to come out with her hands up. Darkness suddenly creeps in, and Koril (or Aniseya, or both) arrives, disguised as the evil Man In Black, and tosses Osha to the side before igniting a red lightsaber. Sol, Yord, Jecki, and the extras ignite their sabers, and we see the heavily promoted shot in which they charge their opponent. Finally, an action seque—
Cue credits.
What the hell? So, after 30 minutes of nothing, we finally get something, and the episode ends with nothing? A bummer way to end our The Acolyte Episode 4 recap.
The Acolyte Episode 5 theories and thoughts
The fourth episode wasn’t as bonkers as the third, but it still lacks momentum and a compelling plot. I think the point was to show Mae’s return to the light while underscoring Osha’s inner conflict. Yet, Stenberg’s performance never conveys either character’s internal struggle, so it’s hard to care when Mae throws up her hands, says, “Eh, this is dumb,” and walks away.
After years of training and hating the Jedi Order, we’re meant to believe she tosses her mission aside because Osha is alive. Shouldn’t she feel regret for killing Indara and Torbin? Or for aiding and abetting a dangerous individual who lied to her? Also, Osha wasn’t exactly hiding. Couldn’t Mae have easily tracked her down over the years?
Did I miss something?
Next week, we’ll hopefully get some lightsaber action. I suspect Mae and Osha will be taken by the “Man In Black,” who will turn out to be one or both of their mothers. We’ll learn what really happened that fateful night all those years ago—how the witches died, how the Jedi are evil, how Mae survived, and how rock is flammable. In a stunning twist, Osha will align with her mothers against the Jedi, while Mae escapes and takes position alongside Sol. Eventually, the girls will switch places without anyone knowing to gain vital intel. Their heroic act inspires Naboo Queens everywhere to put doppelgangers in harm’s way.
Also, one of the mothers is Darth Plagueis, or someone associated with him. He hears about their ability to create life and tries it himself, much to the delight of his padawan, Darth Sidious. It’s like poetry; it rhymes.
We’ll learn that the Sith aren’t evil but just misunderstood. Somehow, this leads back to George Lucas’ prequels.
Overall, The Acolyte still looks and feels like a bad Sci-Fi Channel original. How did this thing cost $180 million? Every planet they land on is nothing more than trees; none of the characters require CGI, shots of spaceships are hilariously bland, and most scenes look like they were filmed at Disney’s Galaxy’s Edge. I swear they keep using the same shot of Coruscant.
For comparison’s sake, watch House of the Dragon, which costs roughly the same amount as The Acolyte. A few dodgy effects aside, you can see the money on screen. The Acolyte looks considerably cheaper from a production standpoint, and it doesn’t even have dragons.
It may get better. Four episodes remain, enough time to stage a $180M action sequence. The story may introduce a wrinkle that knocks us off our feet. At this point, we can only hope. It can’t get much worse … can it?
