Sex Tape gets off to a bad start and I mean a really bad start as Annie (Cameron Diaz) sits down on her mommy blog to tap out her frustrations with the lack of sex in her marriage to Jay (Jason Segel) while recounting the long, sexually charged history of their relationship. Within minutes this movie has you saying, “We get it! Now let’s get on with the movie,” and yet, the set up takes another 20-30 minutes before the first truly funny scene takes place. As it turns out, that scene, which runs about 7-10 minutes is the only consistently funny scene in the movie and certainly not worth the price of admission.
Annie and Jay are married with two kids, the oldest of which is just about to “graduate” from the fourth to the fifth grade, and their marriage has lost its sizzle. However, as Annie is heading home from a business meeting that may see a major corporation buy out her blog she calls her mother to take the kids for the night so she and Jay can enjoy a little alone time.
Unfortunately, attempts to have sex in bed, on the kitchen floor and on the couch lead to dissatisfaction and the realization the magic spark isn’t there. Then, a few tequila shots later and they’re making a three-hour sex tape, performing every sexual act from “The Joy of Sex“, which is sure to see a spike in sales, not to mention Apple’s iPad, which becomes a prominent plot point.
As I’m sure you already know, the sex tape ends up in the wild, though not entirely as you may expect as it merely syncs with Jay’s iCloud account. The problem with this is he gifts his old iPads to friends and acquaintances, never deleting the iCloud connection so as to share his music playlists. Yes, it’s a convoluted way of setting up the scenario, but for those looking to nitpick the plot point, this film fully realizes the absurdity of it all and, surprisingly, is the least annoying part of the film.
For that matter, the film isn’t necessarily annoying or altogether bad as much as it is so horribly paced it will have you rolling your eyes and damn near asleep before you perk up as Annie and Jay set out to retrieve the lost iPads. The first stop is the home of Annie’s prospective new boss played by Rob Lowe. A few lines of cocaine, a German Shepard and a comical one-on-one with iPhone’s Siri and Sex Tape looks like it might be perking up. Then, the scene ends and Annie and Jay have a five-minute heart-to-heart in the driveway. It’s the metaphorical comedy cock-block. Just when you thought you were getting some, director Jake Kasdan (Bad Teacher) steps in and puts an end to that.
Sex Tape still has a few laughs up its sleeve, but for the most part it’s unwilling to commit to the comedy as it only has the one high moment, a couple of peaks along the way amid some serious valleys and another fun scene with a cameo appearance from Jack Black that is just as initially funny as it is eventually dull. By the way, when did the mere appearance of Jack Black start inciting immediate laughter? Several members of my audience laughed when he shows up on screen. Is it just that moment of recognition as if to say, “I know who that person is!”? Is that what things have come to? Kudos for recognizing someone? That’s something people have been doing for a long, long, long, long time. Hell, I recognize people I know every day, but it doesn’t evoke laughter.
Diaz gives her all in this one as she reteams with her Bad Teacher co-star, though Segel just appears to be sleep-walking through the entire thing. I did enjoy Rob Corddry and Ellie Kemper, playing married friends of Annie and Jay’s and Rob Lowe, yet again, steals the spotlight in only a couple brief scenes. Otherwise, this one doesn’t have much else to contribute.
The score sounds like it’s a temp score throughout as I’m not sure composer Michael Andrews spent any more than a couple minutes putting it together as it would have been just as effective had it been played on a Playskool xylophone. I’m not sure if I’m to blame Kate Angelo‘s script (which was rewritten by Segel and Nicholas Stoller), the editing or Kasdan, but this is one hell of a poorly paced film. Perhaps that’s because there wasn’t much more than a 45 minute story to begin with stretched over the course of 94 minutes. Either way, it’s not that Sex Tape is entirely unfunny, but seeing it is entirely unnecessary.
