‘Pacific Rim’ (2013) Movie Review

I was surprised when I got home from my screening of Pacific Rim to find co-writer Travis Beacham (Clash of the Titans) had openly referred to the film as “Top Gun with robots” in an interview. This surprised me because not only is the film Top Gun with robots (and monsters), it’s damn near a scene-by-scene remake. In fact, it’s such a blatant rip-off I don’t know how Paramount isn’t suing and why the credits don’t read, “Based on the Top Gun screenplay by Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr.”

It must be said that I actually love Tony Scott’s 1986 fighter pilot actioner. When I first saw it I wanted to be Tom Cruise (well, Maverick) and I wanted to join the Navy. I put together model F-14 Tomcats, would blast “Danger Zone” and had the poster hanging in my bedroom. I was nine-years-old.

In the same way Top Gun worked for me as a nine-year-old, perhaps Pacific Rim will work for today’s nine-year-olds, but I feel bad for the generation that grows up wanting to be fictional robot jockeys fighting mythical creatures from another planet rather than enjoying any measure of real-life aspirations. Pacific Rim is a perfect example of how today’s cinema has perverted our idea of a hero into something wholly unrecognizable. This isn’t to say Top Gun was some esteemed portrait of the real world, far from it, but my god if it inspires a child to look up to real life heroes that aren’t entirely one dimensional without an ounce of humanity than I’ll take that over this dreck any day.

As for the plot, Pacific Rim begins with lifeless narration provided by the film’s lead character (we’ll get to him in a second). Starting in 2015, in one of the film’s never-ending rainstorms, a portal to another dimension has opened in the Earth’s ocean and Kaiju (monsters) are coming through and attacking. As a defense, human’s have developed giant, human-driven Jaegers (robots) to combat the beasts, most often with a series of punches, though it seems most of that is worthless as a giant sword later proves much more useful.

We first meet the film’s lead character, an unpredictable maverick Jaeger pilot, Raleigh Becket (played by Charlie Hunnam who may actually be Garrett Hedlund for all I can tell), as he’s sent on a mission to combat a Kaiju that’s threatening the Alaska coastline. He’s piloting the giant robot alongside his brother as human minds must be joined as one in order to control the Jaegers, a technological decision with so many problems it’s best to just leave it alone.

For anyone that’s continuing with the Top Gun metaphor, Raleigh’s brother may as well be Goose, and instead of building character and story, Beacham and director/co-writer Guillermo del Toro decide to start in the middle, which is to say Raleigh’s brother dies and he leaves the Jaeger program for five years.

Blah, blah, blah… Something about a giant, not-so-indestructible wall, the Jaeger program is shut down but Idris Elba as the Jaeger program captain keeps the program alive just outside of Hong Kong with a plan straight out of Star Wars and he needs to bring Raleigh back into the fold as only he can pilot one of the four remaining Jaegers (it’s outdated or something like that). Well, only him and a bunch of other people they have lined up to be his co-pilot, but again, let’s forget that.

Then we meet Rinko Kikuchi as Mako who’s been assigned to compile a list of possible co-pilots for Raleigh, but I don’t think I need to tell you how that’s going to turn out. Like Raleigh, Mako has a dark past and it’s unclear as to how the first “neural handshake” between their two minds will work. Can they work together as a team piloting a Jaeger, or will the memories of loved ones lost prevent them from getting back in the saddle? “Talk to me Goose!”

Yes, there is a cocky Jaeger pilot that causes trouble for Raleigh (let’s call him an ice man), there’s a battle scene where Raleigh and Mako are left on deck, only to support the fight if things go bad and there’s a whole “You can be my wingman any time” moment. And instead of a topless beach volleyball scene set to the soothing tones of Kenny Loggins’ “Playing with the Boys” we get a kendo stick training session set to your standard big budget score provided by Ramin Djawadi.

Where the film deviates from its Top Gun source material is in the introduction of Newt (Charlie Day as Charlie Day) and Gottlieb (Burn Gorman), a pair of scientists that have been studying the Kaiju for years and, wouldn’t you know it, they are about to have a breakthrough! Other than that, Ron Perlman shows up as a black market, Kaiju guts dealer (and he has a mid-credits scene for those that are interested) and the rest is beautifully rendered CG robots fighting monsters in the rain and pitch black, all in post-conversion 3-D to give you proper eye strain.

Ultimately, beyond the fact this is a lazy Top Gun knock-off about alien colonists where the humans have an ultimate plan to blow up the underwater portal a la the Death Star, the biggest problem Pacific Rim faces is that it’s a colossal bore. When the characters are treated as secondary to your giant set pieces and the monsters crawling out of the Earth’s crust, you’re going to have problems. When you rely on centuries old character tropes such as dead family members and think the mere mention of their passing is enough to garner sympathy then guess again.

Blockbuster cinema such as this is the equivalent of a breathless young child trying to tell you a story he/she made up based on some cartoon they just watched. They make their own sound effects and smash together their toy Optimus Prime with a Tyrannosaurus Rex, “Goosh! Smash! Blam! And then… and then the bad guy goes, ‘Rawrrr!‘ but the robot comes in and smashes him and saves the world!” They smile, you smile, and you give them a bit of encouragement.

Pacific Rim is a similar experience to where I want to say, “That’s really nice Guillermo, just be sure and clean up your toys when you’re done… Dinner’s about ready and then it’s time for bed.”

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