All films face expectations. Unless you’re able to walk into a movie completely unaware of what the next couple of hours has to offer, this is a natural fact. Yet, whether it’s the director, cast, screenwriter or even the studio, an audience member must attempt to get over their expectations if there is any hope of enjoying a film, free of any and all encumbrances. In the case of The Host, expectations arise as a result of the source material’s author, Stephenie Meyer, and I’m sorry to say her’s is a name that creates low expectations. Meyer ushered unto the world the “Twilight” novels and the resulting film franchise, which has been laughed at by critics while fawned over by fans too young to know any better and too emotionally invested to care.
Knowing nothing beyond a limited amount of information about The Host before going in and any previous knowledge I had gained virtually erased from my memory, I felt I was going in as clean as possible. I hadn’t watched a trailer and while I believe Andrew Niccol (In Time, Lord of War) serves as a better screenwriter than director, I do enjoy the film’s lead actress, Saoirse Ronan (Atonement, Hanna), and the additions of Diane Kruger and William Hurt can only make things better… right?
WRONG!
Even the lowest of expectations could not prepare me for the amount of awful that is The Host.
Like most bad movies, The Host begins with the faint winds that something nasty may be in the offing, but the clouds on the horizon suggest that while the meteorologists say it’s going to rain, you’re willing to go outdoors, hoping they’re wrong.
You’re drawn to the idea of an alien species infecting the whole of humanity. This invading species is shocked by the violent nature of humankind. The result of their invasion is unfettered peace on Earth, and yet, there is nothing left that defines one person from the next outside of their physical characteristics. While obvious and not necessarily unique in its observations, the roots of a good story are here only to be trampled by one of the poorest excuses for romance I’ve seen, and the clouds on the horizon move in, the skies open up and the rain begins to pour.
Melanie (Ronan) is one of the few remaining “wild” humans and the film begins as she is captured by a group of Seekers. Seekers, so you know, are humans that have already had their minds invaded by the aliens and their job is to find the remaining “free” humans to also serve as hosts.
Well, Melanie is captured and an alien “soul” is placed inside her. This soul names itself Wanderer, but something happens, Melanie’s soul fights back, refusing to let Wanderer take over her body completely. This results in voice over from Melanie speaking to Wanderer, and Wanderer essentially talking to herself in an effort to reply. This goes on for the entire movie.
Eventually Melanie convinces Wanderer to escape the alien compound and head for the desert to meet with the rest of the human resistance including her boyfriend, Jared (Max Irons), and her young brother (Joey King). What she doesn’t expect when she gets there is for her boyfriend to backhand her in the face (who would?), or for Wanderer to fall in love with one of the humans, Ian (Jake Abel). Let that sink in for a bit…
Yes, Melanie is in love with Jared, but Jared is conflicted about whether he should kill what looks like Melanie but is actually now Wanderer, and Wanderer (who eventually goes by Wanda because Wanderer is too much of a mouthful) falls in love with Ian and vice versa. The love between this alien soul and slow-witted human is expressed in a scene that should have resulted in the torching of the film’s negative before it could ever be screened for an audience.
While all this is going on, a stone-cold dedicated Seeker (played by Diane Kruger) will do anything to capture Wanderer as she drives around in her mirror-plated Lotus… Oh, yes, I forgot to mention, everything the Seekers use for transportation is mirror-plated. A mirror-plated Lotus, which I wonder how that purchase order went down. Mirror-plated motorcycles and mirror-plated helicopters. Why? Well, let’s be honest, shiny things are, like, really cool and really science-fictiony!
And while Lotus may still be in business making shiny cars, all other labels have been abandoned. For example, people no longer shop at Target or Safeway in this new peaceful society, they now shop at Store, which doesn’t carry Campbell’s soup or any other name brands, only “Tomato Soup” and the like. I guess once the time came to add more product placement everyone just gave up when they saw the silver Lotus. After all, you can’t top that.
So Wanda loves Ian, Ian loves Wanda, but Melanie is in Wanda and Melanie loves Jared and Jared is all confused. How this will all work out in the end, I have no idea. After all, how can there be a peaceful conclusion to a love square where the alien species is learning the value of human existence and has even scored a boyfriend that doesn’t mind she hears voices in her head and responds by talking to herself? The possibilities are endless given the pedigree of the source material.
The Host is essentially a sci-fi version of a Nicholas Sparks movie, but I’m comfortable saying I’d rather watch almost anything adapted from Sparks’ work before revisiting this film again. The film lacks intrigue on such a level that we are meant to be in awe at the sight of a wheat field inside a cave. Wanderer has been all over the galaxy, is over 1,000 years old and she’s told, “I bet you’ve never seen anything as amazing as this.” Shoot me, shoot me now.
As much as I would love to let Niccol off the hook for this one, not only did he direct it, but he also adapted the screenplay. And not only are scenes redundant of one another as the film plays out for two hours, the dialogue and plot development are so atrocious at 30 minutes in I reached a point where I really couldn’t take any more. I eventually had to will myself to remain seated, with the only joy I was experiencing coming from the laughter of the rest of the audience around me.
The Host may not actually be the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it certainly felt that way while watching it. Fans of Meyer’s work may attempt to defend it, but, for me, this as a film that is 100% indefensible.
