Here’s a quick question before we get into the review; why aren’t there any adult cartoon movies? I know The Simpsons Movie is in production, and anime has been around for decades, but I’m talking straight up Family Guy style sarcasm here. You know, Adult Swim stuff, why are there not feature films of the same disposition? I guess that probably won’t get sorted out in this review, it was just a question I asked myself as I tried to survive the first screening of 2007. And yes, survive is the correct word because Happily N’ever After, while probably decent for kids, is cringe-worthy for anyone in the teen years. It is the prototypical animation of the past decade; some bright colors for the children with not much else left over for anyone else.
I generally give a plot synopsis and then get into what was wrong with the movie but in this case the issues are one and the same. Here goes nothing. As far as I can tell in this world all the fairy tales co-exist. A wizard watches over the world to make sure they (the tales) always have happy endings. The wizard has assistants and they… um, assist, in creating said happy endings. One of the assistants, named Mambo, is tired of the stories always going the same way (happy). Ok, so far so good, we’ve got god like creatures controlling the world of good and evil, no problem there, I get it. The wizard goes on vacation and leaves the assistants in charge. That’s the set-up.
Here is where the wheels start falling off. The assistants predictably mess things up, but not in the way you’d think. You see, they draw the attention of one of the evil characters, the stepmom from Cinderella, and she boots them from the palace (where Cinderella’s ball is coincidentally being held). Essentially she physically inhabits the same world that the wizard and assistants inhabit, though it seems they have control over her fate. Once in power, she summons all the other bad guys (like the wolf from little red riding hood and the giant from jack and the beanstalk). She states that they must all be sick of happy endings, and they agree they are. But here’s my question, how are they aware of a reality with happy endings if nothing has ended? To put it in simple terms; why are they going to so much trouble to affect an outcome which they couldn’t have prior knowledge of?
Now, listen, I understand that it’s a kid’s movie, and the idea of a comprehensive logic is a lot to ask for. But why go with this premise in the first place? It can’t possibly make sense to kids or adults, and it takes up quite a bit of the story to even set it all up. The movie that did this “fairy tale combination” thing justice was Hoodwinked. They didn’t bother with explanations; they just had all the characters living together. That makes sense. But to create a world where characters are hyper aware of realities in which they couldn’t possibly have knowledge, well that makes my head hurt, because I’m trying to follow along.
All of this would have been forgiven if the movie was funny in the slightest bit. It’s not. This is why I was forced to deconstruct the logic of an 85 minute film. The main voice work is done by Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. but none of this is their fault. They sound great, and they deliver fine. The story simply wasn’t there, wasn’t funny, and should not be consumed raw.
