George Clooney and Brad Pitt headline Wolfs, an action crime-comedy of sorts. They play two fixers assigned to work together in one eventful night in New York City. This type of movie would have been a home run in the early 2000s. We have two movie stars here, both of whom have acted together extensively in the Ocean’s trilogy and a scene in Burn After Reading. The crime comedy genre set in a snowy cityscape with two guys bickering has been pioneered by Shane Black. This film often feels like a spin on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and The Last Boy Scout.
But Jon Watts is no Shane Black, as this is one of the weakest entries into the genre I’ve seen. Wolfs has the same issue as another recent Apple TV+ movie, The Instigators. That film put together stars Matt Damon and Casey Affleck and had them in the middle of a crime. That movie suffered because Damon and Affleck’s characters were too similar for the buddy-cop dynamic to be funny. With Wolfs, Pitt and Clooney are actively trying to mimic each other.
Unlike every successful buddy cop movie like Lethal Weapon and Rush Hour, where we have two different people at odds and butting heads, Wolfs has these two act so similarly that a character even comments that they talk and dress the same. They are the same person and the least entertaining versions of themselves. Pitt and Clooney are two charismatic actors, but their charisma is muted here. They’re both very monotone in their line delivery, and everything lacks energy.
This rings true, particularly in the opening act. Almost the entire first half hour is spent inside one building, mainly in a hotel room where these two fixers are assigned to the same task and must work together. The conflict comes from the fact that these two are lone wolves who don’t want to work with each other. This could be a funny idea, but Wolfs is never funny. It’s almost always trying to be, but the jokes never land. Even Watts’s Spider-Man trilogy, which I will forever defend, was more amusing than this movie despite the films not being traditional “comedies.”
From there, we have a vague plot centered around Albanians and drug trafficking. It’s the most disposable plot you could imagine for a movie of this size. There are drugs, and there’s a kid involved who’s in way over his head. This film does not have a single original idea worth touting, instead hitting every beat that you’ve seen done better in other films. It also doesn’t work because there is nothing personal at stake for either of these two characters. We don’t learn anything about these two as people, so we don’t care for them or about the storyline they have to push forward.
Wolfs is a movie that requires quippy, fun banter between the two leads to work. But at some point, it can genuinely feel as if Clooney and Pitt are trying to downplay their natural chemistry. Pitt’s character gets a few jokes that feel like exactly what you’d expect from a Pitt performance. Clooney is more of the stern straight man in this double act, but he doesn’t do anything meaningful. There’s such a significant emotional disconnect between the audience and the characters that it’s shameful.
Even the kid who gets caught up in this is such a disposable character that you don’t care about him. The movie’s first action set piece doesn’t happen for a while, and it’s a chase scene that does nothing unique. The film almost has some fun in the final act with a dance sequence, but that scene is the only glimmer of light in this boring slog that does not know how to utilize its stars. What’s even worse is that there is no antagonist in this movie. We learn of a few bad guys in the final act, but they are so insignificant that it never feels like the threat looms large over our heroes.
Wolfs feels like the first draft of a screenplay. Some have criticized Watts’s Spider-Man movies for lacking a strong style or directorial voice. I disagree with that criticism of his Spider-Mans, but I think that criticism applies aptly here. To put into perspective how frivolous this story is, when there are 20 minutes left in the film, the characters are so safe from danger, and there’s so little happening that they have time to stop for a bite to eat at a late-night fast food joint. The final action sequence consists of a car driving in reverse, bad guys shooting at the car, and Pitt and Clooney hiding and shooting. You could not get more boring than that if you tried. With stakes that barely build as it goes on, Wolfs is the most lifeless movie of the year, offering zero laughs or entertainment.
SCORE: 2/10
As ComingSoon’s review policy explains, a score of 2 equates to “Terrible.” Almost irredeemable, it is likely a waste of time for almost everyone involved.
Disclosure: ComingSoon received a screener for our Wolfs review.
