It’s that time of year again and I welcome you to the 2015 Oscars Live Blog with up-to-the-minute live winners, commentary, red carpet coverage and overall merriment. We are kicking this thing off around 4 PM PST or so and carrying on until 9 PM PST or whenever this thing ends, which means you better have food, water and perhaps a tasty beverage or two because it’s going to be a long night.
I’ve already posted right here. As far as my predicting prowess is concerned, last year I went 21 for 24 and I always shoot for at least 20 correct… we’ll see how this year turns out with a few close races.
Should the night work out as I predicted, here’s how the wins would shape out with Birdman being my pick to win Best Picture:
- Birdman – 5 Oscars
- The Grand Budapest Hotel – 3 Oscars
- Boyhood – 2 Oscars
- The Theory of Everything – 2 Oscars
- American Sniper – One Oscar
- Citizenfour – One Oscar
- How to Train Your Dragon 2 – One Oscar
- Ida – One Oscar
- Interstellar – One Oscar
- Selma – One Oscar
- Still Alice – One Oscar
- The Imitation Game – One Oscar
- Whiplash – One Oscar
As for what you can expect from this live blog, we will be posting up-to-the-second commentary with each update having either my name in red or Laremy’s name in blue next to the time stamp. All winner announcements will be
So get ready, in just a few short hours it all begins and hopefully you’re prepared. We’ll be back around 4:00 PST / 7:00 EST and we won’t stop until the last award is handed out.
Stay tuned, we’ll be beginning shortly…
[3:48:46 PM] Brad says: Hey! Is this thing on?
[3:51:04 PM] Brad says: We’ll be starting very soon, but rest assured, I have the OTRC (On the Red Carpet) on in the background with the one of the worst on the carpet hosts I’ve ever seen… I think his name is George Pennacchio, but I think that because Steve Carell just said “George” and I Googled “George and OTRC” and this is what happend. #doingresearch
[3:51:28 PM] Brad says: Seriously, this guy is absolutely lifeless and his pronunciation of Cotillard is very strange.
[3:52:28 PM] Brad says: Yup, found him.
[4:03:48 PM] Laremy says: Hi.
[4:05:46 PM] Brad says: John Legend just said their announcing Best Song right after they perform “Glory”, probably so they don’t have to leave the stage.
[4:06:15 PM] Laremy says: Mike Keaton better win or Imma cut a bird.
[4:08:27 PM] Laremy says: I love when they send in the accountant with the “votes”. As if it’s not seven white dudes in a smoky back room deciding which other white dudes to hook up.
[4:10:37 PM] Laremy says: HOW I HATE THE TEDDY ROOSEVELT QUOTE ABOUT CRITICS. It makes ZERO sense because it’s criticizing criticism. Everyone sees how dumb that is, right? And if you take it at face value, it means we can’t stop some idiot in “the arena” who keeps hitting his face off a wall. Here’s the nonsense if you want to read it:
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7-it-is-not-the-critic-who-counts-not-the-man
[4:10:52 PM] Laremy says: Also, Miley Cyrus has a tattoo of that. The defense rests.
[4:12:06 PM] Brad says: Robin Roberts chattin’ biz with Rosamund Pike, whom I would like to see win Best Actress rather than the defacto win for Moore we’re all expecting.
[4:12:43 PM] Laremy says: I catch a “Rosamund Pike” if you get my drift (my drift is sad).
[4:14:28 PM] Laremy says: “Hi, I’m Eddie Redmayne, and I have a red mane, and I don’t deserve this Oscar.”
[4:14:51 PM] Laremy says: I think I’m getting slightly immature about this whole Redmayne v. Keaton thing.
[4:15:53 PM] Brad says: Robin Roberts is towering over whoever this guy is.
[4:17:03 PM] Laremy says: We are on ABC, fwiw. I vetoed E!. Can’t do it.
[4:17:15 PM] Laremy says: E! is like a bear trap to the scrotum.
[4:18:43 PM] Brad says: I apologize, Laremy was supposed to live blog that thing that just happened, but he’s too busy not live blogging
[4:18:56 PM] Laremy says: Jess “Caged Bird” Caaaaaaglllllleeeeeeee!!!!
[4:20:40 PM] Laremy says: I just wrote something highly sexual and inappropriate about Jess Cagle that was hilarious. But then I deleted it because one day someone may put him and I in the same room and that would be awkward city.
[4:23:42 PM] Brad says: Felicity Jones is jonesin’ for an Oscar.
[4:24:12 PM] Laremy says: I interviewed Felicity Jones for Like Crazy. She was better in that.
[4:24:59 PM] Laremy says: Brad is KILLING our cheese plate right now.
[4:25:17 PM] Laremy says: It’s like hungry hungry hippos but with a Brad.
[4:26:22 PM] Brad says: How long do you think it would take for you to eat your car? Now that’s a good question, ask more like that please.
[4:26:47 PM] Brad says: I like how Robin acts as if they are bad questions, THOSE are questions we’d love to hear answers to.
[4:29:12 PM] Laremy says: True story my friend Homer Marrs was in a Discover Credit Card commercial.
[4:30:54 PM] Laremy says: Brad and I just discussed the black market for ivory. One day we’ll live broadcast this thing and y’all will be stunned.
[4:33:02 PM] Laremy says: Lindsay hates Julianne Moore’s dress. #SCOOP.
[4:33:27 PM] Brad says: Is Julianne Moore still Alice? Or is that over with?
[4:35:08 PM] Laremy says: Melanie Griffith seems to hate her daughter. Odd.
[4:35:31 PM] Brad says: Melanie Griffith has not seen Fifty Shades of Grey, I also think she’s drunk. They also don’t seem like mother/daughter.
[4:36:35 PM] Brad says: I wish I knew the names of the people asking the questions, because then I could insult them easier.
[4:39:02 PM] Brad says: We just realized this is the tenth anniversary of our Oscar live blogs, click here to read the first one when Laremy used to do it solo.
[4:39:45 PM] Laremy says: “AdamsLostApple • a few seconds ago
I wonder if Dakota Johnson can rise above 50 Shades to do serious films in the future. She still has to two more sequels to go.”
Answer: No.
[4:41:56 PM] Laremy says: This is the tenth anniversary of the live blog. I can’t find the link to the 2006 one, but I did it by myself, and Brad tells me it does exist.
[4:42:13 PM] Brad says: Anna Faris was very happy to see Robin Roberts. I like her and Chris Pratt so they get a pass.
[4:43:02 PM] Laremy says: Found it!!
[4:43:08 PM] Brad says: Benedict Cumberbatch! I always feel he should be Benedict Cumberbatch III, doesn’t that just have a better ring to it?
[4:44:41 PM] Laremy says: True story: At the end of that 2006 article is my MYSPACE link. That’s street cred, y’all.
[4:47:23 PM] Laremy says: If I had to make a 60-second video it would just be me staring at the camera, the light slowly draining from my eyes, looking for the shattered wreckage of my dreams.
[4:49:18 PM] Brad says: Now we’re reading Reese Witherspoon’s text messages.
[4:52:59 PM] Laremy says: Robin Roberts just broke the news: The stars are still arriving.
[4:53:26 PM] Brad says: Now we’re talking to Reese. “What was it about Wild that resonated with you?” Her forehead also just went bonkers.
[4:54:47 PM] Brad says: Okay, who’s the creepy girl in the red jacket in the background?
[4:55:26 PM] Brad says: J-Lo in the heezy! Got her boobs out so no surprises.
[4:55:28 PM] Laremy says: You guys heard the Uptown Funk song?
[4:57:04 PM] Brad says: Look at Jess Cagle, sounds like he read everyone’s blogs and figured out what to say about tonight’s Oscars.
[4:57:33 PM] Laremy says: Scar-Jo looks like the wife from Rocky IV.
[4:58:43 PM] Brad says: Only a half hour to go!!!!!! Until the show starts… and then, only 3.5 hours to go!!!!!
[5:01:59 PM] Brad says: If you’re reading this, go ahead and share it on the Facebooks and Twitters… thanks in advance.
[5:02:48 PM] Brad says: Robin Roberts just said “anything can happen”, I don’t think that’s true. If anything other than what’s scripted happens I think people get murdered.
[5:05:09 PM] Laremy says: Ethan Hawke is all coke’d up.
[5:06:18 PM] Laremy says: Naomi Watts looking high voltage this evening.
[5:06:37 PM] Brad says: Ethan Hawke just talked about pirates.
[5:09:33 PM] Laremy says: 21 minutes until we start and I go 24-24 and win the contest pony Brad always promises me.
[5:10:25 PM] Laremy says: The people who work at Discover have nice cubicles.
[5:12:18 PM] Laremy says: I gotta a body like an hourglass but I can give it to you all the tiiiimeeeeeee
[5:12:33 PM] Brad says: Hey Laremy, do you watch “Once Upon a Time”? Huh? Do yah?
[5:12:58 PM] Laremy says: Not even once.
[5:17:19 PM] Brad says: Jess Cagle just said Melanie Griffith and Dakota Johnson acted like mom and daughter. They didn’t, sooooooo…
[5:17:42 PM] Laremy says: How is no one ever remotely funny on this show? Must everyone just kiss butt for hours? Like, this is supposed to be entertainment, yeah?
[5:20:41 PM] Brad says: “You never know who you’re going to see inside here.” Robin Roberts clearly doesn’t know how invites to the Oscars work.
[5:23:42 PM] Laremy says: Anyone out there watching that “The Slap”?
[5:25:31 PM] Brad says: Patricia Arquette forgot to comb her hair and appears to have just woke up.
[5:26:08 PM] Brad says: Michael Strahan talking about seeing “SO MANY STARS…” just feels wrong.
[5:26:14 PM] Laremy says: It’s about to get real real in heaaaah.
[5:26:21 PM] Laremy says: Uptown funk you up!
[5:26:56 PM] Brad says: Okay, the show is going to begin in a few minutes and we’re doing a page break. Join us on Page Two?
