Welcome to our live blog of the 2014 Golden Globe Awards where myself and Laremy Legel will be providing running commentary and up-to-the-minute winner announcements over the course of three straight hours of Golden Globe excitement.
This is the eighth year in a row we have provided a live blog of the events and, as always, we’re hoping to do better than the last time out. If you’d like to check out how we do things around here you can check out previous installments at the following links: 2006.
Over the course of the evening expect commentary, winners and anything else that comes to mind. I will be breaking things up on an hourly basis, providing a page break at the end of each hour to hopefully keep things manageable and in the right hand column you will notice I have placed a list of the winners, which will update live as they are announced.
While blogging, winners will be highlighted
The show begins at 5:00 PM PST / 8:00 PM EST and blogging will begin around 4:30-4:45-ish PM PST or so. So, while we wait for things to get started why don’t you comment below and let everyone know where you are reading the blog from and we hope you’ll join in the conversation in the comments below. So comment often and refresh the page every so often for updated commentary and winners. Let’s get to it!
[4:35:54 PM] Laremy says: Hello everyone, it is I, Laremy.
4:36:43 PM: Hey all, we’re live… Though I’m relying on Laremy for the first 20 mins or so. Be sure and be nice.
[4:37:47 PM] Laremy says: I have an idea for a charity: $100 for every fake laugh that happens on a major network. With football and red carpets, I’m pretty sure we could cure cancer like that.
[4:39:44 PM] Laremy says: Thanks, Brad. I’ll make you proud for at least ten minutes. I’ve been prepping for this piece for a few hours. As best as I can tell, it’s basically three hours of #GoodTweets.
[4:41:09 PM] Laremy says: We’re here Zack Sparrow, we’re here. And welcome Driver, I hope Uruguay is beautiful this time of year.
[4:43:49 PM] Laremy says: One thing that would make me happy tonight, besides Brad just bringing me coffee every four minutes, is Her winning some stuff.
Yeah, I’m a guy you want to invite over.
[4:46:52 PM] Laremy says: Usher is here! I’m part of the Usher fan club. We call ourselves the “Usher Crushers”. We’re huge in Canada.
[4:48:03 PM] Brad says: Did you hear? Sewage has flooded the red carpet. It smells like poop out there. No, seriously, linky.
[4:49:04 PM] Laremy says: Right now we’re talking earnestly about Winter’s Tale. We should raffle off spots to be here.
[4:51:42 PM] Laremy says: That is a very red dress. She could bring back the USSR with that dress.
[4:51:45 PM] Brad says: This is so exciting! Josh Charles is here with his wife! So exciting. I’m so happy for everyone.
[4:51:55 PM] Laremy says: What is a “Josh Charles”?
[4:52:12 PM] Brad says: FYI, we’re watching the NBC broadcast, not E! because, well, E! is a nightmare.
[4:53:08 PM] Brad says: Either this red carpet is REALLY, REALLY long or they have poorly edited this thing together because it’s bouncing all over the place. But hey, that’s Cate Blanchett! OMG!
[4:53:15 PM] Laremy says: Who are you guys wearing tonight? I’m sporting Lucky Jeans, Puma Ankle Socks, and a “Hammer Time” Thor t-shirt. Brad is topless.
[4:54:43 PM] Brad says: Someone get Michael J. Fox a box.
[4:55:07 PM] Laremy says: Ladies, if you’re dating a shorter man, don’t rock those 9-inch heels. Be a pal.
[4:56:11 PM] Brad says: We are only five minutes away from the show, and most likely the best part with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s intro.
[4:57:07 PM] Laremy says: I am drinking a coke out of, and I swear this is true, a “Bud Bowl 99” glass. There’s vintage, there’s old school, and there’s “Bud Bowl 99”. That’s next level. Brad didn’t get this mansion by screwing around.
[4:58:23 PM] Laremy says: If you’re watching the commercials, I just heard Labor Day is terrible. From the other movie critic that’s in the room.
[4:59:32 PM] Brad says: Matt Lauer, man, he knows his entertainment. He’s telling us tonight is going to be outrageous and Carson Daly says it will be “fast and furious”. Um, fellas, learn you’re supposed to under promise and over deliver.
[5:00:03 PM] Brad says: Ten seconds!
[5:00:20 PM] Laremy says: It’s amazing that The Golden Globes even exist. There are 90 people in the HFPA, total, and they require members write a grand total of FOUR articles to keep their membership each year.
[5:02:37 PM] Brad says: Robert Redford showed up? That’s a surprise. Hint?
[5:02:37 PM] Laremy says: I like Amy Poehler’s dress. I have no idea why that thought popped into my head, but I wanted to be honest with you guys.
[5:03:26 PM] Brad says: Meryl Streep is here. Clapping! Clap! Clap! Clap!
[5:03:30 PM] Laremy says: Meryl Streep is here! Has she ever been nominated for anything before?
[5:04:57 PM] Brad says: I think Amy Poehler is here… Flash to Jennifer Lawrence. Not too bad.
[5:05:25 PM] Brad says: Reese Witherspoon trying to get a selfie with Julia Louis-Dreyfus is solid.
[5:05:59 PM] Laremy says: I like that Woody Allen never shows up to anything. That’s admirable.
[5:07:09 PM] Laremy says: I’ve almost forgiven Joaquin Phoenix for I’m Still Here. Almost.
[5:08:35 PM] Laremy says: Tom Hanks seems to be the go-to guy to tease.
[5:08:40 PM] Brad says: The Wolf of Wall Street used the F-word a lot… Insert Joke… Not very funny.
[5:09:37 PM] Brad says: 12 Years a Slave joke is good… “I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can say I honestly will not look at slavery the same way again…” “Wait, how were you looking at it before — ?”
[5:10:39 PM] Brad says: Hey, are we going to get an award? We are! Which one?
[5:11:04 PM] Laremy says: Let’s start with a biggie!!!
[5:11:16 PM] Brad says: Tam Honks and Sandra Bullock to present Best Supporting Actress in a movie… because TV shows will dominate the next two hours.
[5:11:31 PM] Laremy says: I bet on J-Law.
[5:11:42 PM] Brad says: And the winner is
[5:12:26 PM] Brad says: I didn’t know J-Law and The Beast were dating!! OMG! This is life altering!
[5:12:31 PM] Laremy says: Listen to J-Law, I Heart Huckabees is dope. Luvs it.
[5:13:21 PM] Laremy says: Jennifer Lawrence falls out of bed being charming. It’s slightly worrisome.
[5:13:28 PM] Brad says: Can Lawrence top Nyong’o at the Oscars?
[5:13:50 PM] Laremy says: We’ve decided to eat food when they do the TV ones. We’re snobs.
[5:14:02 PM] Brad says: Supporting actress in a TV movie or miniseries is the next one with C-Tates and M-Kunes presenting.
[5:14:19 PM] Laremy says: I’ve seen zero of the nominated performances.
[5:15:24 PM] Brad says: Winner is
[5:16:05 PM] Laremy says: It took Bisset about four minutes to walk up to get her Globe … and now she sounds like she’s delivering the Gettysburg Address.
[5:16:13 PM] Brad says: She is loving this win… maybe I’m the only cynical one here. That is, if I’m pretending I’m at the Beverly Hilton.
[5:16:30 PM] Brad says: Um, cue the band.
[5:16:44 PM] Laremy says: Does she think she just won an Oscar? This speech has more pregnant pauses than Knocked Up.
[5:16:47 PM] Brad says: Sorry, gotta say, she’s taking this WAY too seriously.
[5:17:18 PM] Laremy says: Whoa, curse words!
[5:17:26 PM] Brad says: Someone get Katnis out there!
[5:17:45 PM] Brad says: Commercial break please!
[5:17:49 PM] Laremy says: The producers want her off the stage in the worst way.
[5:18:08 PM] Brad says: Laremy is loving it. You should see him. He’s dancing to the promo music.
[5:18:20 PM] Laremy says: I like that we had a meltdown with the mini-series Globe. Maybe they’ll quietly discontinue that one next year.
[5:20:06 PM] Brad says: Maybe time to cut Jacqueline Bisset off at the bar. “Scotch scotch scotch, I love scotch.”
[5:22:41 PM] Brad says: We’re back with Naomi Watts and Mark Ruffalo to present the movie and mini-series TV movie.
[5:23:01 PM] Brad says: This has to be Behind the Candelabra right?
[5:23:38 PM] Brad says: Yup,
[5:23:45 PM] Laremy says: They should install a zip line from the tables to the stage.
[5:24:03 PM] Laremy says: At least half this show is people walking toward the stage.
[5:24:11 PM] Brad says: Wow, maybe put the winners closer to the stage, or maybe not have them have to walk around tables. Can’t wait until the end of the night when everyone is completely lit.
[5:25:02 PM] Brad says: There was an Oompa Loompa in the crowd!
[5:25:24 PM] Brad says: Now, Best Actress in said mini-series/movie…
[5:26:33 PM] Brad says:
[5:26:38 PM] Laremy says: I loved Elisabeth Moss in “The West Wing”.
[5:27:06 PM] Brad says: People be swearing brah! Moss is nervous, I remember her when she was President Bartlet’s daughter.
[5:27:11 PM] Laremy says: And our second big curse edit of the evening. Hope nobody calls the MPAA.
[5:28:01 PM] Laremy says: “I wanna thank the band, who is now playing me off,” is what I’d say.
[5:28:04 PM] Brad says: Let these long speeches be a lesson… hand out TV awards off air.
[5:28:47 PM] Brad says: Matt Damon will now impress us, “It’s me the garbage man… the garbage man who didn’t bring his glasses.” He’s introducing Captain Phillips as one of the Best Picture (Drama) nominees. Laremy think he’s winging it.
[5:29:14 PM] Brad says: “Tom Hank is a national treasure” ~ Matt Damon
[5:29:20 PM] Laremy says: Matt Damon had to improv that speech because he forgot his glasses. I give him a C+.
[5:29:54 PM] Brad says: Commercial break… which means more Dogfish Head IPA
[5:29:59 PM] Laremy says: When they cut to commercial you just know people are breaking out 20lb bags of pure cocaine.
[5:30:07 PM] Brad says: Laremy Legel, born in a garage.
[5:32:04 PM] Brad says: Don’t miss the Golden Globes “the morning after” on Today? That could be… interesting.
[5:33:00 PM] Laremy says: This Apple commercial should win a Golden Globe.
[5:34:44 PM] Brad says: Everyone is all chatty as Tina and Amy thank the HFPA and it is glorious. Who is the HFPA again?
[5:35:58 PM] Brad says: Here comes Margot Robbie, she’s Leo’s wife in Wolf of Wall Street.
[5:36:01 PM] Laremy says: President Theo of the HFPA in the hizzy! Have I told you guys about my plan to change my name to Laremy Flovovich (from Estonia) so I can join their little mob?
[5:36:25 PM] Brad says: So teleprompter fail… in comes a yellow piece of paper.
[5:36:57 PM] Brad says: Oh, Jonah Hill is with her… sorry, I forgot to mention him, and they are introducing Wolf as a nominee.
[5:37:13 PM] Laremy says: Major production problems for HFPA so far. Teleprompter messed up, but some brilliant PA had a backup physical copy to bail Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie out.
[5:37:51 PM] Brad says: Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton are out, and Paula is wearing… uh… something…
[5:38:13 PM] Brad says: They are presenting for actor, TV drama and it would seem Bryan Cranston will win this if the audience has anything to say.
[5:38:27 PM] Laremy says: I miss Margot Robbie already. Let’s get her back there.
[5:38:52 PM] Laremy says: Have you ever noticed Kevin Spacey always has his mouth open?
[5:39:23 PM] Laremy says: B-Cranst gets the W, he’s 1,000 yards away from the stage on a dead sprint.
[5:41:08 PM] Brad says: And the winner is …
[5:41:23 PM] Brad says: Now for Best TV Series Drama, which has to be “Breaking Bad”
[5:41:39 PM] Brad says: And the winner is …
[5:42:31 PM] Brad says: This is a horribly produced show… In fact, the wife just got excited about the laundry and is threatening to stop watching.
[5:42:36 PM] Laremy says: “Okay, let’s put all the winners in back, that way they’ll have to walk a long way. People love people walking on television!”
[5:43:13 PM] Brad says: Who is directing this thing?
[5:43:25 PM] Brad says: Can we get a shot of the ground please?!?!?!?
[5:43:37 PM] Laremy says: Whoever is producing this show must be drunk. The camera angles are all over the place.
[5:44:01 PM] Brad says: There was Jennifer Lawrence double-fisting, Golden Globe in one hand, white wine in the other.
[5:46:17 PM] Laremy says: I’ve been reading the new Jack Ryan books. The non-Clancy ones with Jack Ryan Jr. Pretty solid, actually, you know, for a “quick beach read” style dealies.
[5:49:06 PM] Brad says: Steve Coogan and the real Philomena Lee are on stage, to tell us Philomena is a nominee. Kyle Smith is mad because he’s not smart… see.
[5:49:22 PM] Laremy says: Philomena is a solid movie. Steve Coogan did it right.
[5:49:48 PM] Brad says: Kate Beckinsale, Usher and P Diddy? Okay.
[5:50:16 PM] Brad says: Oh, Best Original Score, because all three have what to do with movie scores?
[5:50:26 PM] Laremy says: Let’s see, which score did I like best? I guess Gravity.
[5:50:44 PM] Brad says: And the winner is
[5:50:51 PM] Laremy says: Which is exactly why it didn’t win. I have bad taste.
[5:51:32 PM] Brad says: Didn’t think the HFPA would go for it, but it is the best score of the nominees.
[5:52:33 PM] Laremy says: Taylor Swift has a front row table. Because, you know, her song in One Chance. Pretty noteworthy stuff.
[5:53:28 PM] Brad says: Yeah, P Diddy gettin’ the crowd pumped! Now for Best Song, gotta be Let it Go from Frozen… right? Laremy thinks it’s going to be Taylor Swift from that movie he never heard of.
[5:53:49 PM] Laremy says: Only like two hours left. I’m going to make it.
[5:54:47 PM] Brad says: And the winner is
[5:55:03 PM] Brad says: P Diddy is CROWD SURFING!
[5:55:35 PM] Laremy says: Bono is 40 rows back. Swift? Put her as close as possible. TAYLOR SWIFT IS IMPORTANT.
[5:55:44 PM] Brad says: Does P Diddy think he wins just for presenting. Not about you dude.
[5:57:19 PM] Brad says: We’re about ready to do a page break, you going to join us on Page Two? Click here or just below to do so.
