[6:53:19 PM] Laremy says: I’m getting a little sleepy. They fed me a bunch of carbs and then hit me with the television awards. Deadly combo.
[6:55:00 PM] Brad says: Reese Witherspoon in a red dress tells us The Descendants is a “masterfully directed film” and that it’s a contender for Best Picture (Drama)
[6:56:18 PM] Brad says: I would like Reese Witherspoon to tell me what was so masterful about Alexander Payne’s direction. Not that I think he did a bad job, but I would like to see that comment explained.
[6:56:46 PM] Brad says: Wow, Sidney Poitier is really bringing the drama… or he can’t read the teleprompter.
[6:57:30 PM] Brad says: He’s telling us Morgan Freeman is going to be awarded the Cecil B. DeMille Award.
[6:58:56 PM] Laremy says: Whoever is working the prompter for The Golden Globes tonight is really hanging the presenters out to dry.
[6:59:12 PM] Brad says: Helen Mirren joins Poitier on stage to “help” in this presentation.
[6:59:25 PM] Laremy says: And you’d think they have that figured out by now. Teleprompter technology isn’t exactly a new thing.
[7:04:21 PM] Laremy says: Chris Tucker is at The Golden Globes?! Are they filming Rush Hour 4 during the telecast?
[7:04:54 PM] Brad says: Morgan and Helen are sharing a moment.
[7:05:30 PM] Brad says: He also gives Sidney his due credit.
[7:06:08 PM] Brad says: And mid speech Freeman adds, “Hey Elton.”
[7:08:50 PM] Brad says: Ben Kingsley had a lady on his lap. Is that his wife? Daughter? I know Laremy saw him eating fish and chips at the Los Angeles Airport. Not sure how that plays into the story, but just thought I’d share.
[7:10:21 PM] Brad says: Man, when was the last time an award handed out? Anyone else out there getting bored?
[7:11:24 PM] Brad says: Here’s Kingsley’s lady by the way
[7:12:05 PM] Brad says: Now Robert Downey Jr. will tell us The Artist is a contender for Best Picture (Comedy/Musical)
[7:12:19 PM] Laremy says: This method of simply listing off names as part of your presentation has got to go. Laziest writing technique ever. Damon. Affleck. Downey. Lowe. Pitt. Cheadle.
[7:13:02 PM] Brad says: Jolie takes the stage, Pitt smiles, she will hand out the award for Best Director
7:13:45 PM: And the winner for Best Director is
[7:14:12 PM] Brad says: Bombshell win? Scorsese takes it, though I did see a few people predicting it.
[7:14:29 PM] Laremy says: Whoa! Does this mean The Artist might be on the ropes?
[7:16:18 PM] Brad says: I will explore the meaning of the Golden Globes compared to the Oscars tomorrow, but suffice to say, don’t expect Scorsese to win there. He will be nominated though.
[7:17:08 PM] Laremy says: Tell you what, if The Artist doesn’t take Best Musical/Comedy then The Descendants is the new frontrunner. But a split decision is still the most likely outcome.
[7:17:35 PM] Brad says: Wow, Ricky just got bleeped introducing Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek as they hand out the award for Best TV series (Comedy/Musical)
7:17:49 PM: And the winner for Best Television Series (Musical or Comedy) is
[7:18:42 PM] Laremy says: I’ve never seen it, but my sources tell me Modern Family is delightful.
[7:20:39 PM] Brad says: Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Biel will next award Best Picture (Comedy/Musical) and my girlfriend tells me, “Oh, we’ll get to see her ring from Justin.” I know, I’m just as excited as you are.
[7:24:27 PM] Brad says: Michelle Pfeiffer is here and yet again I feel I am just mentioning people. She’s about to tell us how great War Horse is, luckily she has a teleprompter or that would be harder to do.
[7:24:28 PM] Laremy says: (said in old-timey voice, enjoy) ** Dateline! Equine enmity has broken out across Europe! Horses headed to waaaaaaaaaar!!! **
[7:25:32 PM] Brad says: Here’s that Wahlberg and Biel promise. Her hands are behind her back. My girlfriend is sad.
7:25:48 PM: And the winner for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) is
[7:27:00 PM] Brad says: If you like Jean Dujardin and The Artist, be sure and watch the OSS 117 films, they are both better than The Artist, which is good, but better is better.
[7:28:00 PM] Brad says: Dujardin kills it. When will he land a major Hollywood role?
[7:31:47 PM] Brad says: We just inspected the possibility of a nip-slip from Dujardin’s date. Verdict: Nope, we can carry on.
[7:32:40 PM] Brad says: Queen Latifah is the latest to tell us a movie is nominated and I am quite bored! WHERE IS RICKY!!!!!!
[7:33:36 PM] Brad says: Oh, there’s Ricky. He’s bored too.
[7:33:51 PM] Laremy says: They got around Ricky Gervais being offensive by only giving him about ten minutes to work with.
[7:34:43 PM] Laremy says: Only twelve hours left in the 69th Annual Golden Globes Awards!
[7:34:46 PM] Brad says: Colin Firth (who according to Gervais is “racist” and he “punched a blind kitten”) takes the stage to hand out the Globe for Best Actress (Drama)
7:35:32 PM: And the winner for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama) is
[7:36:19 PM] Laremy says: Looks like Brad called that one, so we split for the night. I’ll take it.
[7:36:28 PM] Brad says: Now give Viola Davis the Oscar.
[7:37:53 PM] Brad says: Wow, so Streep gets bleeped now. Apparently she can’t read the teleprompter and David Fincher is trying to deliver her glasses. Looks like that mission was aborted.
[7:37:59 PM] Laremy says: Meryl Streep’s glasses are making a mad dash to the podium! This is the most riveting race against time since Contraband!
[7:38:31 PM] Brad says: Now Streep is talking about birds. It’s a metaphor people!
[7:39:16 PM] Brad says: Strike up the band… play a little louder band!
[7:39:35 PM] Brad says: Jane Fonda and it’s time to Jazzercise!
[7:39:56 PM] Brad says: And it’s the award for Best Picture (Musical/Comedy)
[7:40:04 PM] Laremy says: Will The Artist hold serve and take Best Comedy or Musical?
7:40:21 PM: And the winner for Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) is
[7:43:11 PM] Brad says: 18 minutes to go and we have only a couple more awards to go!
[7:44:05 PM] Laremy says: Is there any drama left tonight? Maybe someone else will forget their glasses?
[7:47:37 PM] Laremy says: “Smash” looks like “Showgirls” meets “Coyote Ugly”. And not in a good way.
[7:48:17 PM] Brad says: Here’s Ricky and he’s introducing Natalie Portman who will hand out the Globe for Best Actor (Drama), which is to say, “Get up here George Clooney.”
[7:48:29 PM] Laremy says: I like George Clooney to win Best Actor. Also, water is wet and the sun will rise tomorrow.
7:48:31 PM: And the winner for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama) is
[7:49:00 PM] Brad says: And now we can give The Descendants the Globe for Best Picture (Drama) and shut this thing down… right?
[7:49:53 PM] Laremy says: Clooney gives the best speeches. ‘Nuff said.
[7:50:37 PM] Brad says: One more commercial and one more award… I think.
[7:51:49 PM] Brad says: Clooney decided to compare Michael Fassbender’s penis in Shame to a golf club by putting his hands behind his back and swaying side-to-side. That got a laugh.
[7:53:03 PM] Laremy says: Um, when is the in memoriam section?
[7:54:25 PM] Laremy says: They played Streep and Spencer off the stage so they could get a few more “Whitney” commercials in.
[7:54:54 PM] Brad says: Harrison Ford? Is he drunk again?
7:57:14 PM: And the winner for Best Motion Picture (Drama) is
[7:57:16 PM] Laremy says: All in all, it was a pretty chalk evening. The only real shock was Woody Allen. It’s still The Artist in front, The Descendents chasing, and The Help surging from the bronze position.
[7:58:15 PM] Brad says: And that’s the show and the server did its best to survive.
[8:02:30 PM] Laremy says: That’s all from me folks. I’m off to get some coffee and an I.V. See you Tuesday!
