3.
Something Borrowed
I have to say, I am quite proud of my review of Something Borrowed as I imagine it will be one I will point back to every time Hollywood offers women a movie as an alternative to something else out there, essentially saying, “Well they don’t want to watch X so we’ll just give them Y. They’ll watch anything as long as it’s not X.”
In the case of Something Borrowed, the alternative was Thor and I just have to give you the final three paragraphs from my review as I think they more than summarize just how detrimental films like this are to the cinematic landscape:
Looking into my crystal ball this is what I can see happening with Something Borrowed. It will be dismissed by the majority of critics. It will then be dubbed a “chick flick” by many of those critics as well as the audience that pays to see it, but this is a tired argument and nothing more than an excuse. “Chick flick” used to refer to films that promised a romantic core and an emotional connection men didn’t seem to respond to, but females did. This I can understand and, actually, I like to think I connect with more of those films than most men are given credit for.
However, when a film like Something Borrowed throws women under the bus, presents characters that are not only dumb, but just plain mean and then it is defended as a chick flick, that borders on self-hating.
Audiences have come to accept what’s placed in front of them because it is all that is offered. Hollywood shouldn’t treat its audience like prisoners. You have a choice. You haven’t been sent to cinematic jail. Don’t accept movies that don’t respect your intelligence. Watch a movie at home and wait for one that respects you as much as you deserve. Something Borrowed is being offered to female audiences as the alternative to Thor during its opening weekend. Yes, it’s an alternative, but not an alternative you have to accept.
Review Pull Quote: “Something Borrowed centers on a love triangle conjured in Hell.”
Read my full review of Something Borrowed here.
2.
Sucker Punch
I haven’t looked to be sure, but I think the 98 comments on my review of Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch may be the most any of my reviews has ever received. Some commenters agreed and others offered up some awesome quotes such as “Why do critics like Brad hate fun?” and “Sometimes… Critics should go to hell!” and another commenter hit it square on the head when referring to the comment thread: “Why do I feel this thread might be more interesting than the actual film?” Indeed!
Perhaps what’s most amazing about this movie is how fans love to praise the visuals and yet it’s these visuals that are clouding what is actually going on in the movie, causing them to miss the entire point. Let me offer up the final paragraph from my review for the uninitiated:
Sucker Punch left me with the message that while being raped and abused it’s probably best to dream about gunfights and massive explosions. When Babydoll slips into her dream world we’re never witness to the hypnotic dance she supposedly uses to distract her audience from what’s really going on. Of course, this isn’t really a “dance,” but instead a distraction from the abuse of a 20-year-old girl at the hands of lowlifes. What does this ultimately offer us? As far as I’m concerned, nothing.
Sucker Punch is either one of the worst films I have ever seen or Zack Snyder is a maniacal genius, sitting back and laughing as people attempt to dissect it.
Review Pull Quote: “Sucker Punch is Snyder’s barely legal wet dream.” and “Snyder is out of control as he even decides a bucket of falling potatoes deserves a dramatic slow motion shot as they crash to the ground. Potatoes!”
Read my full review of Sucker Punch here.
1.
Sanctum
Deciding between Sucker Punch and Sanctum when it came to naming the absolute worst film I saw in 2011 was not easy. On the one hand, Sucker Punch beat me down until I would have rather been eating gum off the theater floor than watch another minute. Sanctum, however, is just as bad, though you probably would have had to wake me up just to get me on the floor.
All of that said, it’s hard to remember how bad Sanctum truly is as it came out way back at the beginning of February and it’s not as if anyone has talked about it since, certainly not James Cameron whose name was slathered all over the marketing as Universal attempted to dupe audiences into thinking it had something to do with Avatar.
This is a film that offered up such classic quotes as “This cave’s not going to beat me!” “Carl likes to play by his own rules,” and one of those truly foreboding comments, “What could possibly go wrong diving in caves?” Oh dahling, you’re so tongue-in-cheek, gimme a smooch! Seriously, how was this script ever green-lit?
Sanctum all but marks the end of Richard Roxburgh and Ioan Gruffudd’s careers and could end Alister Grierson’s before it even begins
Review Pull Quote: “Even when you finally think you’re getting to the end of one miserable scene piled on the next, director Alister Grierson decides to turn on the slow-motion, you know, for added emphasis.”
Read my full review of Sanctum here.
And that does it. We’re done and we can forget those films ever existed. However, I still want to hear what films top your list of the worst films of 2011? Are they same as mine? What more would you like to add?
Also, if you missed Part One where I note my Dishonorable Mentions click here for those and stay tuned as next week we can push the negativity aside and explore the films that were the absolute best of the year.
