I wasn’t sure what to make of the stack of Ghost House Underground DVD releases. While I tend to be a fan of B-horror movies, there’s a fine line between a bad-good one (something like say Wrong Turn 2) and just a flat-out bad-bad one (like another sequel, the unwatchable Lake Placid 2). The balance between absurdity, nonsense and gore has to be just right, and if it is even just a tiny bit off any chance of enjoyment is thrown out the window as quickly as a bloody severed head.
As for an outright good one? I tend not to hold my breath on that front. Just look at those continuing After Dark Horrorfest releases. I can think of maybe one or two of those (2008’s The Broken, 2006’s Wicked Little Things) that I can admit to having enjoyed, and as far as Ghost House Underground has been concerned of their first eight releases only one – the silly high school prom zombie comedy Dance of the Dead – I’d admit to wanting to watch a second (or even a third) time.
Happily (or scarily, depending on your point of view) this new set of four films – The Children, Offspring, Seventh Moon and The Thaw – is more or less above par, each having merits I think make them at least worthy of a cursory glance from genre fans. Here are some quick thoughts on each:
THE PLOT: A mysterious flu-like virus slowly transforms a quartet of British children into brutal killing machines over the Christmas holiday.
THE GOOD: While only 85-minutes in length, writer/director Tom Shankland takes his time setting things up, crafting a mood and fleshing out the family dynamics that could spell disaster for four adults and one spirited teenage girl as the adolescents in their midst start hungering for blood. The acting is universally strong, and the scare sequences are eerie enough I actually paused the movie at one point so I could turn on my living room lights.
THE BAD: Two of the parents act like complete idiots and after a while I started to hope their kids would dismember them so I wouldn’t have to listen to them whine, sob or prattle nonsense. Why it takes roughly seventy minutes before anyone realizes getting into the car and driving for help is a good idea is way beyond me.
GORE MOMENT: Plenty to choose from, but without giving anything away my favorite bit involves a jungle gym, a pair of legs bending the wrong way and the sudden need for a new pair of jeans.
EXTRAS: Six featurettes covering just about every aspect of production, a solid collection of Deleted Scenes, Trailer Gallery of other Ghost House Underground releases and a collection of Ghost House ‘Micro Videos’ which are nothing more than glorified trailers scored to industrial rock music.
BOTTOM LINE: Definitely my favorite from the set, The Children is seriously spooky and features a final scene that had my stomach twisted into knots. While a couple of the parents got on my nerves, overall this movie is a class act I would have loved to have seen in a theater.
THE PLOT: Dead River, Maine is under siege from a family of cannibals who are the lost decedents of the town’s original founder.
THE GOOD: Based on the book by Jack Ketchum (who also wrote the screenplay), this is a seriously twisted movie that refuses to follow many of the usual conventions. Characters are introduced and dispatched with carnal cruelty, while the actors hired to play the central band of carnivorous killers throw themselves into their rolls with unhinged ferocity. Extremely well shot by cinematographer William M. Miller.
THE BAD: As well made as the film is, watching it isn’t pleasant. Director Andrew van den Houten tends to revel in his characters’ degradation and torture, one particularly nasty sequence of inhuman violation almost made me want to stop altogether. There is also a pointless subplot involving an abusive ex-husband that’s just plain diseased, and even though his ultimate comeuppance is grotesquely satisfying it still wasn’t enough to warrant his presence in the first place.
GORE MOMENT: This movie is wall-to-wall gore, so choosing just one moment is impossible. That said, there is a bit involving an axe, a head and a grinning mother taking a bloody drink that made my skin crawl.
EXTRAS: Commentary track with writer Jack Ketchum, director/producer Andrew van den Houten and cinematographer/producer William M. Miller, a printable version of the script, making-of featurette “Progeny: The Birth of Offspring,” Photo Gallery, Webisodes, Trailer Gallery and more Ghost House Micro Videos.
BOTTOM LINE: Well made and acted, Offspring nonetheless proved to be too much for me. While I appreciated its intense ferociousness and its willingness to buck convention, too much of it reveled in outright nascent tastelessness. For those who think The Last House on the Left is too tame and doesn’t go far enough this is the movie for you.
