Fox’s terrible 2008 goes back-to-back on this list as I continue to try and figure out what people think is so funny about Ashton Kutcher and try to find out if people find Cameron Diaz either A) funny or B) attractive. I opt for item C and will leave it at that. Once Kutcher put popcorn down his pants in the trailer I knew this was going to be a shit show and it did not disappoint.
Universal is not a studio to typically hide their films from the public and I am shocked to find out I have three Uni films on this list, but I can’t play favorites. There was not a press screening of Doomsday, which should have been fair enough warning. I didn’t see it until it arrived in Universal’s first wave of Blu-ray releases, and oh baby did it not disappoint in the crap department. Not only is it apparently possible to wall up all of Scotland and people somehow manage to NOT escape, but once that is done you either A) turn into a cannibal that loves punk rock music and cooking people with their clothes on, B) you go back to medieval times and play kings and knights or C) get a deadly virus and go bonkos. Why it is limited to such strange options is beyond me, but that’s the way it goes.
I know this is the highest grossing UK film of all-time, and blah, blah, blah, but I am not convinced people actually like this movie as much as they like the music, yet I have still not managed to find anyone admit they like this movie. Are you out there (and if you comment and say you like it use your real name and let the world know)? Do you actually like Pierce Brosnan’s singing? Do you really think Meryl Streep can sing? Does Colin Firth’s disrobing and subsequent water dance turn you on? What is it?
This film has haunted me since January and to my knowledge it is the last film Eva Longoria made and hopefully will be the last she makes. I know there is that film Lower Learning out there in which she insults retarded children and Lionsgate’s Foodfight is another film she has a voice in, but I seriously think this is a film proving Parker has zero draw on general audiences. With “Desperate Housewives” beginning to fizzle out I can only hope this spells the end of a career that never should have escaped the soaps.
Weigh in with your cinematic nightmares from 2008 and contest my list if you feel I have lost my mind! And stay tuned, this is just the beginning of my RopeofSilicon 2008 wrap-up.
