COSTUME DESIGN
Elizabeth: The Golden Age wins, which is pretty shocking when you consider its one of the worst movies of 2007. Wolf. Hiss. Boo.
Hey, does it looks like Tilda Swinton dresses like her Narnia character in real life or is it me? Find a picture and get back to me on this ASAP. 1 for 1 on predictions, this is promising, and yes, I will be telling you how smart I am this whole time.
BEST ANIMATED FILM
Stewart introduces Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway and takes a nice shot at his former Daily Show cohort. Carell hits back though. “Thank you Jon for that kind introduction. You never cease to amaze me with your constant need of attention.” Feel the love.
Ratatouille wins. Water’s wet. The sky’s blue. Brad Bird thanks the necessaries and scatters away to his Pixar lair. I’m 1 for 2 (told yah).
ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKEUP
Katherine Heigl has presenting duties which is apt because she looks quite pretty (evidence here). La Vie en Rose wins and Marion Cotillard is clearly happy for her makeup artists. Her eyes go pink and she’s tearing up. Her eyes sparkle and the air around her is magic. Yes, I love her. I’m 2 for 3.
Meanwhile, Amy Adams is another ray of light. She’s performing “Happy Working Song” from her movie Enchanted. She kills it.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is here! These are our stars. This should be an easy win for Transformers.
The Golden Compass wins??? The effects were good, but I didn’t think the Academy had it in them to award this bomb. Hey, it’s okay. Michael Bay is still just counting his money over the backs of his live-in strippers. I’m 2 for 4. Ugh.
BEST ART DIRECTION
Cate Blanchett has presenting duties. She’s way preggers. Sweeney Todd wins and two characters straight out of Pinocchio come up and accept the award. I’m 3 for 5.
Jennifer Hudson looks spelling bee-nervous presenting. This might be her biggest audition in months. Great clip selection for these performances. Uh-oh. That Hal Holbrook clip always makes me nervous. Old geezer empathy and all that. The Academy has made so many goofy sentimental picks in the past when it comes to old geezers and when you add in the fact that Holbrook is actually legitimately good in the movie … making me nervous here. I can’t have the empire crumbling so early in the night.
Javier Bardem has to win this though. Right?
Yes! I’m 4 for 6 with Bardem’s win. On the road to respectability and/or world dominance. This feels different. Bardem’s speech (which he ends en espanol) is the first special moment of the night (read it here).
Keri Russell introduces “Raise it Up” from August Rush, which my sources tell me was a movie released in 2007. Who knew?
Something’s happening here. The song is partly sung by a group of kids and I’m like, getting inspired and stuff. When I start to get that warm human-like feeling I like to drown it out with a little something called J&D.
BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT
Presenter Owen Wilson is really peering at that teleprompter and I’m really staring at his nose. I can’t help it. It looks like a dented-in hood of a car. Le Mozart de Pickpockets wins. I’m 5 for 7. These meaningless categories are always healthy wins for the office pool. Just kidding Live Action shorters!
BEST ANIMATED SHORT
Jerry Seinfeld (in Bee Movie form) introduces the nominees: Peter & the Wolf wins. Madame Tutli-Putli, how could you do this to me? I was going to take you with me all the way to the top, you bitch! 5 for 8.
