In part one of our series Dre and Laremy got into their issues with Oscar, finding little common ground (with the exception of the Oscars needing fixin’ in general). This time the verbal sparring will be ratcheted up and the boys will go for the jugular, all in an effort to make the biggest, and surprisingly still the best, awards show on earth a little more fun and respectable for the whole family. Read on and pick a side!
DRE: You’re losing sight of what the Oscars are, it’s the industry’s award show. It’s like a high school election. The students elect their president, their treasurer etc. Government officials have “some semblance of credibility” in that arena (okay, bad example)… but you don’t see them having a vote in student government. This is not about the critics. They already have their own awards groups. Now you can say the same thing about the SAGs and the Director’s Guild, but the difference is those people are in the industry. And while I do care about what an actor thinks about a performance (in Oscar terms), or a director or a composer or a producer, I don’t care what a critic thinks because by then I’m well aware who the NY, the LA, the San Fran, the Nevada, the Chicago, the Toronto etc. critics think about this or that actor and movie.
Your take that an “industry-only” vote would be determined by what DVDs they would want to push is about two conspiracies away from the straightjacket. Remember, in my system, I wouldn’t be asking the studios to vote. No execs. No mailroom guys (unless they’re struggling actors…). If you’re a producer, fine, many producers are independent. If you’re an exec that managed to get a producer credit, fine, you snuck one by us. However, you must remember, by letting all film guild members vote (under requirements like the ones I listed before) – the bulk of the people voting are regular people (there’s your Joe Public). Most of these people are not millionaires. Most of these people couldn’t care less if Disney sells a boatload of Pirates DVDs. Most of these people are regular hardworking actors, cinematographers, costumer designers etc.
My first change would be that one of the slots should be named “The People’s Champion” and go to the highest grossing film
You want to make the highest box-office winner an automatic entry? And I’m supposed to be writing from the Death Star? Dude, I know you loved Dead Man’s Chest, but this is not the way to conduct yourself. This is the same argument as the critics thing for me.
Audiences already have their vote. They award movies based on dollars AND they have their “People’s Choice Awards”. Now, if the “People’s Choice Awards” suck (which they do), then maybe they need some serious tearing down and building up as well. But let’s not make the PCA’s problem Oscar’s problem. Can you imagine a world where The Grinch is a Best Picture Nominee? Where ID4 is a Best Picture nominee? You can add whatever other qualifiers you want; in the end, audiences and critics already have their voice.
So yes, all my clone troopers and I are asking for in this wookie-eat-wookie galaxy (I don’t throw the pitches, I just swing) is ONE award show that represents solely what the film industry thinks (Oh my God! String us up from the rafters!). Really, what is so horrible about that?
Your active member suggestion is fine and good but seems like it should have been implemented about a hundred years ago. It’s like telling the Boy Scouts they can’t get their wolf badge until they finish their soap box derby car.
In response: Your box-office and critic suggestions are fine and good but seems like it should have been implemented about a hundred years ago. Scratch that…they’re not good ideas for the Oscars.
Less than one percent of the human population of America had a desire to see Babel. How is that worthy of acclaim? Do you hate democracy?
So let me get this straight. Audiences – on the whole – didn’t want to see Babel so the film industry shouldn’t acclaim it even if they thought it was one of the best movies of the year. Hmm. Do you hate democracy? What other groups that honor things we don’t care for should we have a say in? Wait, I got it. Beauty Pageants!
I think in the end we’re talking about apples and oranges. I may be the Empire, but you are a rebel with one confused cause. You’re trying to change what the Oscars are. I just want to restore what they are supposed to be. Maybe there needs to be another award show that does the things you are asking for. That’s fine. But I do want at least ONE award ceremony that celebrates solely what the film industry thinks. If we had it your way, there wouldn’t even be one. The current system isn’t working. That’s why I think those changes are important. Also, you blow.
LAREMY: Well it looks as though it’s left to me to wrap this sad spectacle up. Your arguments seem to be, if I can paraphrase them, “I love the Oscars all well and good because they are full of crap. However, I wish the crap wasn’t so stinky.”
This is not my view. You say, very correctly, that I want something that isn’t the Oscars. Yes, what I want is what the Oscars should be, a recognition of the best work. The mess we have now, with advertising and hype determining the award isn’t befitting of the movies we both love so much. With a little structure the Oscars could become respected as well as watched.
So, anyway, since I won’t be hearing anymore backtalk out of you I want to propose a few more remedies.
First off, I don’t think “For Your Consideration” ads should be allowed. This is similar to a campaign financing law. Only studios can afford to advertise in Variety so the studio system becomes propped up by Oscar even more than it naturally would be because of marketing campaigns and theater counts in general.
Academy Member votes must become public record. This would be akin to coaches’ polls in college sports. With this level of transparency I think voters would be more inclined to be informed or simply stay out of it. If you follow lockstep with the hype you should be willing to give an interview saying why.
On that note, a few dozen voters a year should have to do press. This could be a press junket, whatever, but someone should be accountable. Hiding behind the veil of the mighty ACADEMY is poor form.
The Lifetime Achievement Award should be done away with. This is not because people don’t deserve it, it’s because it wastes 20 minutes of my life every year.
There should be actual rules for the categories. Right now The Academy considers the “For Your Consideration” ads for where to nominate people. This leads to Jennifer Hudson in the Supporting category. My rules would be simple. If you have the most dialogue in the movie you are the lead. If you’re not the lead you’re the supporting. Case closed.
Finally, the Best Picture category should have a minimum dollar amount. You must finish in the Top 100 in the domestic box office. This year that would require $26 million and you’d have to beat out a movie like Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. This would cause excitement if a critical darling wasn’t in the top 100, the studio would have to re-release it in December and then the public would get a chance to judge. As it stands no one gets to see Venus, Half Nelson or The Last King of Scotland. That’s not right. People deserve a chance to see the Oscar nominees in the theater, the way the filmmaker originally intended. I know you are about stripping away the rights of the general public and allowing the smoky back offices of producers to rule all, but every year someone says to me “Is Movie X, that was nominated for eight Oscars, any good?” For once I’d like to be able to tell them to decide for themselves. Let’s make the first weekend in December “Oscar Push Week,” and put some excitement back into this stodgy old affair.
In closing, you should rest easy that none of our suggestions will be adopted. The Academy doesn’t care about anything accept The Academy, and though I have no doubt that there are many wonderful members (even most perhaps), the institution as a whole does its very best to strangle all forms of dissent. I love the Oscars, I hate the Oscars, but I’m always interested in them. So maybe there’s a reason they’ll never change, they’ve got us all right where they want us.
If you missed part one check it out here.
Stay up-to-date at all times with everything Oscar at RopeofSilicon’s official Oscars 2007 page.
