Box-Office Oracle: Feb. 2 – Feb. 4

I’m basing this off of the fact that people are watching the clips for this movie here on Rope. I figure that’s better than my previous method of “conjuring” with illegal substances.

Result: $15.3 million

They asked me to appear in The Messengers but it conflicted with my acupuncture appointment so I passed. When I finally get those IMDB credits I want them to be strong.

Result: $9.7 million

I’m pretty sure the Rotten Tomatoes ranking on this is three percent. Now that we’ve layered their rankings into Rope you can click on the movie title and verify my veracity..

Result: $8.5 million

I really wanted this one to beat Epic Movie this weekend but the numbers don’t add up.

Result: $8.0 million

The longest I can ever remember relatives haunting me was a few weeks. They ate my food, drank my drink, and watched my TV. This was not pleasing to me. So you can just imagine how much I’m through with Night at the Museum at this point. Pack your bags Stiller – get the hell out.

Result: $5.0 million

This gains theaters this weekend as owners scramble around for anything even resembling a real movie for their screens.

Result: $3.8 million

Right now I am on a cruise ship. Absolutely true. I’m also in a bar where they are playing bingo. Swear to God. And in this bar people are complaining because they are calling the bingo numbers too quickly. Scout’s honor. And I want to die. Factual and actual.

Result: $3.6 million

If I were in charge I’d be all over “In the top ten the last three weekends in a row!” It’s not like people pay attention to the commercials anyway, enjoy yourself guys.

Result: $3.4 million

Murphy and Hudson keep winning so even though it’s not nominated, I still like its chances for Best Picture.

Result: $3.2 million

Mirren keeps winning but I don’t anticipate that bleeding over to The Queen. And at least where award shows are concerned I’m pretty accurate.

Result: $2.8 million