We have four new contenders for the crown this weekend but only two are serious heavyweights. The other two include a sequel no one wanted (Garfield) and a romantic comedy that no ones knows is coming out. The real deal movies are The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift and Nacho Libre. Nacho has the bankable star while FF3 has a bankable franchise. Throw last weekend’s winner Cars in to the mix and you’ve got a great shot at an Oracle disaster. Regardless, we plod on into the abyss together.
#1 movie predicted correctly: One Week In A Row
1. The Fast and The Furious 3: Tokyo Drift $36.3m
I could end up really low on this one. The other two opened at $40m and $50m so why lower on this edition? My thought is Lucas Black is no Paul Walker (who was no Vin Deisel). Would I bet my life this wins? No, but then again you’d have a tough time getting me to risk my life on something as silly as movie revenue. Maybe something important like dressage, but not movies.
2. Cars $33.9m
Hey it’s Cars against Cars! Hahahahhaha. I’m ready to write screenplays now!
3. Nacho Libre $23.0m
It’s supposed to perform well because everyone is comparing it to Napoleon Dynamite… but does anyone recall that Napoleon opened at like twelve bucks? Plus what 20-35yr old sees a PG comedy, even with Jack Black? And who takes their kid to a Mexican wrestling comedy? I have no idea how this one makes big revenue but if I’m wrong I’m willing to write the Oracle recap for free.
4. Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties $17.7m
They could’ve made more money by simply asking me how much I’d pay to not see it.
5. The Lake House $17.2m
A grand American tradition, take a great foreign film and destroy it. I really liked the trailer but have heard nothing but angry words about it.
6. The Break-Up $11.0m
This movie needed more trampolines. Hell, every movie needs more trampolines. And hot air balloons.
7. The Omen $8.2
Void where prohibited. C’mon, I deserve some freebies for all my hard work. I toil in obscurity for so long in the hot sun. Let me get some shade man.
8. X-Men: The Last Stand $7.1m
You’ve got to call this a success financially if not artistically. Of course I’m pretty sure the studio system forgot about artistic merit right after fire was invented.
9. The Da Vinci Code $4.8m
Before you kiss me you should know, Papa was a rodeo. Are we at the song lyric section now?? I didn’t realize it was “beer 30” around here.
10. Over the Hedge $4.4m
I could play guitar and rope a steer before I learned to stand. I know we are seeing a quel (that’s what we’re calling them now in the hood) on this one and I’m not displeased. Good movies deserve to get new lives. Unlike sinners. Next week party people!
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