Get ready for 7 of the silliest and sexiest and strangest Planet of the Apes ripoffs ever
20th Century Fox are prepping to release the third entry in their popular and high-gloss remounting of the Planet of the Apes franchise, War for the Planet of the Apes, which follows both Rise of and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, on July 14th, nationwide.
In War for the Planet of the Apes, Caesar (Andy Serkis) and his apes are forced into a deadly conflict with an army of humans led by a ruthless Colonel (Woody Harrelson). After the apes suffer unimaginable losses, Caesar wrestles with his darker instincts and begins his own mythic quest to avenge his kind. As the journey finally brings them face to face, Caesar and the Colonel are pitted against each other in an epic battle that will determine the fate of both their species and the future of the planet.
RELATED: All the Planet of the Apes Movies Ranked!
Now, that’s all fine and good and we know exactly the awesome flick we’ll get from this talent and budget pool. But what about those “other” Apes movies?
No, I’m not talking about the original five awesome Planet of the Apes movies. And I’m not talking about the TV series or the animated series or the Tim Burton version of the story either. I’m talking about the wild wave of rip-offs that blew out of every corner of the globe in the wake of the original Planet of the Apes‘ international success.
As we’re getting pumped for the release of War, we opted to dive into the dump bin and dig up seven of the kookiest Apes exploitation films we could find. Buckle in, you damned dirty humans!
Apes Rip-Offs
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Revenge from Planet Ape (1971)
Not a Planet of the Apes rip-off at all. Instead this Amando de Osorios Spanish horror masterpiece Tombs of the Blind Dead, re-released by some craven distributor as a Planet of the Apes sequel because the horse riding Templars vaguely look like zombified versions of John Chambers' ape make-ups! Ludicrous? Damn right it is!
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Time of the Apes (1974/1987)
Hilariously unhinged Japanese TV series Saru no Gundan was released in 1974 in Japan, a product of the massive success of Fox's Apes film franchise in that country. It follows the narrative drive of the film, with two dopes being frozen cryogenically and waking up in a weird future where monkeys run the show. The series ran one season and was never released in the West until 1987 when the show was cut into a 90 minute feature called Time of the Apes and hilariously dubbed. This is a crazy little blast of entertainment and was spoofed accordingly on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
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Brazilian Planet of the Apes (1976)
Spastic Brazilian spoof of Planet of the Apes makes no sense but has a decent enough budget to make it's monkeys look pretty good and it's just so...weird. There's even a nod to Jaws as would-be-thieves do battle with a shark before ending up in a weird island with a race of goofball talking apes. If you can find it, you'll laugh, even if you don't understand Portuguese.
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Mistress of the Apes (1979)
Exploitation guru Larry Buchanan (Mars Needs Women) pumped out this curiously deranged sexploitation hybrid of the Planet of the Apes movies and Tarzan, with a beautiful anthropologist (jenny Neumann) discovering a tribe of "Near Men" ape creatures. Sex, rape and weirdness ensue. Not really a Planet of the Apes riff as there's no science fiction angle but there's plenty of mind bending psychobabble and primate nuttiness...plus nudity!
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Playmate of the Apes (2002)
Misty Mundae softcore cheapie was made to capitalize on the Tim Burton Apes remount with an emphasis on the mounting. Three female space travelers (ass-tronauts) land on a distant planet that is inhabited by horny talking apes, including General Lade, General Jerko and Dr. Corn-hole-ius. Lesbian action galore in this cheap as hell excuse to see that lesbian action.
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Planet of the Erotic Ape (2002)
More Burton cash/ass grabbing in this dumb as dirt sex comedy that was also released as Babes in Kong Land. Shot in Cincinatti with a banana budget, this one sees a pervert transported to a planet run by hot women who use talking apes as sex slaves. You've been warned!
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Empire of the Apes (2013)
This no-budget skeeze and stupidity wonder makes Playmate of the Apes look like Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Trash auteur Mark Polonia directs yet another tale of ladies landing on a fake Planet of the Apes ( really, some nature trails) and finding tribes of extras in Halloween masks. A jaw dropping dud!
