SHOCK recaps the climactic season finale of SCREAM QUEENS.
Pete explains to Grace that he was only kind of a murderer. The night the security guard was killed, he followed the Red Devil back to the Dicky Dollar Scholars house and saw it was Boone. After a long lecture, Pete started to come around to Boones way of thinking: that the Greek system, the Kappas, and the Chanels are the bad guys. He didnt turn Boone in because he wanted to find out who the other killer(s) were. Pete killed Rodger, and he swears to Grace that he didnt have a choice: it was him or Rodger, and Rodger was horrible to his brother. He insists that he killed him to be one of the good guys. But he decided at some point enough was enough, and he killed Boone. Without Boone, Gigi wouldnt be able to carry on; he was the muscle. He does admit to shooting Chanel and the mall cops with the crossbow, but claims that was self defense: last year, Chanel used him, saying she wanted to play out her deepest, darkest fetishes with him. One of them was having him dress as a caveman and leap around the closet. It was all a setup and the minions were there to laugh at him.
Grace doesnt care. She never wants to see him again. If you want me to stay, youre going to have to kill me. She leaves, but he offers to tell her who the other killer is – it is one of the Kappa sisters. Grace returns reluctantly, and Pete starts detailing the efforts he went to to collect DNA from the Kappas. Before he can tell her who it is, the Red Devil (or, rather, a Red Devil) leaps from the closet and kills Pete. The Devil and Grace fight, but Grace gets away.
Chanel is a pariah, with students returning to school just to boo her. Her missive was forwarded to the entire student body (by the Red Devil). In that email, Chanel admitted she was planning on killing the dean, and calls her Kappa sisters the worst humans ever, should be sterilized, etc., all because they didnt show up. The missive went viral and Chanel became headline news on every outlet. She realizes there is only one thing left she can do: kill herself.
She decides she is going to kill herself with an asp, like Cleopatra. She ordered one online; now is just waiting for it to bite her. Zayday finds her and tells her it is just a garter snake, and Chanel is even more depressed – she cant even kill herself right. Zayday gives her a generic youve got a lot to live for speech, and this seems to do the trick. Suddenly a Red Devil storms in. Zayday kicks him, lays him out, and unmasks him. Neither of them recognize the guy. They drag him downstairs so the other sisters can get a look, but no one recognizes him. He explains: he is a pizza guy and was called to deliver to the house. He was knocked out by the Red Devil, and when he woke he was wearing the Devil costume, had bombs strapped to him, and told to go inside and kill the girls. The Kappas run for cover and the pizza guy blows up.
Grace tells her dad what happened with Pete, and wants to get info on her sisters but she needs him to take one for the team. By taking one for the team, she means he is going to have to seduce the dean. Wes is game and waits for the dean in her bedroom, stretched out in a pair of bikini briefs and a disturbing expression. The dean buys it and they go nuts on each other. Meanwhile, Zayday and Grace sneak in and go through the deans files. They find one Kappa with a fully falsified transcript and decide that she is the second bathtub baby. In the other room, post-coital, Wes cant believe it but this was the best sex of his life. He like-likes Dean Munsch and wants to give a relationship a go. The dean agrees, but finds Grace annoying. If you want this to happen, make Gracie go bye-bye for a little while. Wes looks scared.
Chanel has decided that in order to restore her reputation, she needs to go on an apology tour. The first stop: Melanie Dorkus, who is back in town after living in seclusion in Alaska until her parents decided it wasnt healthy. She is now back in her family mansion, living in seclusion. Chanel, #3, and #5 pay her a visit, but #5 bails at the last minute when she finally gets a Tindr hookup. But Chanel is not there to have #3 record her apologizing to Melanie; she is there with #3 so she can kill her, thinking that Melanie is the Red Devil. Before Chanel can stab her, Grace and Zayday rush in, saying they have proof that Hester is the final Red Devil killer.
Grace, Zayday, Chanel, and #3 return to the Kappa house and go hunting for Hester. They hear a scream and find #5 in the bathroom, her Tindr hookup a fake. But she wasnt the one who screamed – that would be Hester, who is slumped in the closet with a high heel stabbed into her eye. Hester isnt dead though – she sits up and points out #5, screaming Read Devil!
Part two opens in January 2016, and a whole new Kappa. Zayday is still president; Grace is vice president, and Hester is the treasurer. The house is filled with normal-looking girls, there to rush. Hester, an eye patch over her still-injured eye, recounts her devious plan in voice-over.
Hester and Boone, for reasons unknown, grew up in the asylum with Gigi. For the first few years, Gigi just cried. But by the time the kids were about six years old, the sadness turned to rage and she started teaching the kids about murder weapons and working on their revenge plot. They had to take on new identities, so Boone decided he would be gay, and Hester saw a girl in a back brace and took that as her own.
When the Red Devil mascot came into a cafe to announce a football game, that was when Gigi decided the costume would be perfect. She killed the mascot and took his costume. Boone started school a year ahead of Hester. It was Boone who poured acid into Melanies spray tan. When Hester applied, the dean knew her transcripts were faked, but she took a chance on her in order to fulfill a diversity requirement. She met Grace and Zayday at rush and they were so nice, she decided to let them live.
But someone had to take the fall.
Chanel accuses #5 of being the Devil and attacking Hester, but Grace maintains that Hester is the killer. Hester herself comes in, her eye bandaged but otherwise fine. She studied how to stab herself to make sure her wounds were only superficial. Hester again accuses #5 of being the killer, and admits her transcripts were faked because she was embarrassed she was home schooled. Her parents arrive to assure everyone that Hester is, indeed, their biological daughter, but they were deep undercover in the CIA which explains why there was no record of Hesters parents in her file. They are clearly actors – Zayday even remembers the dad from a commercial.
Next Hester brings in #5s parents who freely admit that Gigi asked them to raise #5 and believes she is a serial killer. As we see, two weeks earlier, they werent tough to turn. #5s mom has wanted to disown her ever since she learned to talk. Denise is there, and while she still believes Zayday is the killer, she arrests #5. Hester isnt done, and she accuses #3 of being in cahoots with #5. As proof she shows letters written to #3 from her biological father, Charles Manson, who encouraged her to kill her friends, and even tells her about the pizza-delivery-bomb. #3 just wanted fatherly advice, but all he would offer her is advice on killing. Finally, Hester provides a (fake) letter from #3s shrink, claiming she was treating #3 for multiple personality disorder, and that her other personality, Dirty Helen, was the one who did all the killing. Denise arrests #3, who is starting to believe that her fake other personality was guilty.
But wait! Denise also has to arrest Chanel! By way of proof, Hester produces receipts of Chanel buying axes, chainsaws, lawnmowers, and other weapons. There is surveillance video of Chanel buying these things (Hester in disguise). Chanel denies this, but Denise believes it and arrests Chanel as well.
By May 2016, order has been restored. The dean is happy and still dating Wes. She wrote a book called New New Feminism and has gained significant exposure from that, even though she hired a ghostwriter to write it. The culture on campus has changed for the better, making the dean think that maybe all the killings were worth it. The Chanels are all in prison. Chad and Denise have a deep love affair that only ends when Denise goes to join the FBI.
The Radwell family paid for a memorial statue to honor the dead, and the Kappa girls are keeping it shiny. Grace and Zayday take off, leaving only Hester and the dean at the memorial stone. The dean confronts Hester. She knows she was the other killer, recognizes her from when she was a baby. Hester points out that she only killed Pete, and he was a murderer himself, so that made it okay. And besides, she helped turn around the toxic Kappa environment. The dean doesnt care and threatens to turn in Hester. Hester then threatens to turn in the dean for murdering her ex and for covering up her mothers death. They face off – then call it even and say pleasant goodbyes.
The Chanels stand trial and are about to be declared not guilty, but before the foreperson can read the verdict, Chanel screams that this is not a jury of her peers because they arent beautiful and rich like she is. The jury changes their vote to guilty. The judge sentences them to an asylum rather than jail, deciding that their behavior in court – defending themselves, sleeping through the trial, screaming at the jury – pointed to them being insane.
But things arent all bad for the Chanels. It turns out that asylum life suited them well. #3 went full lesbian and found love with a female nurse. #5 started a regiment of pills that made her tolerable, making her and Chanel BFFs. There were no boys there to stay skinny for, and they even vote Chanel to be president for a sorority they made up.
The last scene is a stupid network note if I ever saw one. Chanel walks through the dorm, looking at the sleeping inmates before taking her bed. She puts on her eye mask, lays down – then sits up and removes her mask, thinking she heard a knife being drawn. Seeing nothing, she relaxes back down into bed and discovers the Red Devil is standing over her with a knife, ready to strike.
So there it is, folks. Scream Queens is over. There were a few high points, a few scenes that made me laugh, and plenty of eye candy to enjoy but man, that was a rough fourteen hours to sit through.
