In this case, it’s “okay.” Eli Roth’s original isn’t anything special either. It’s plenty gruesome and boasts some great makeup effects, but it tries too hard to be weird and it isn’t particularly scary. Part 3 doesn’t really aim for weirdness, and in the world of direct-to-DVD horror movies, it’s fairly routine. But if nothing else, it’s a showcase for some spectacular makeup effects. These days that’s worth celebrating.
The setup jumps back and forth between a secret laboratory and a bachelor party. At the lab, a man named Porter (Sean Astin) is in quarantine. Perilously close to a worldwide pandemic, Porter is the only known carrier of a virus, and his immunity makes him the key to a possible cure. He’s also not too pleased about being held captive against his will.
Cut to bachelor party. Marcus (Mitch Ryan) is about to marry a rich girl. His brother Josh (Brando Eaton) and friend Dobbs (Ryan Donowho) have chartered a boat that will take them to a secluded, private island. Josh’s girlfriend, Penny (Jillian Murray), who once slept with Marcus, joins the male trio. Let the good times roll.
Unfortunately for the partygoers, the island might be secluded, but it’s not private. The laboratory holding Porter is there. After Josh and Penny go for a swim (all the fish are dead), they get nasty rashes. And then much worse. Marcus and Dobbs go looking for help, hoping that the building they saw earlier will lead to their rescue. It doesn’t.
Everything about Cabin Fever: Patient Zero is perfunctory. The leads are one-dimensional and there’s a lot of bickering and melodrama. The small team of medical professionals at the lab argues about what’s right and wrong as they hold Porter captive. There’s nothing you haven’t seen before, and it doesn’t help that the actor playing Marcus is incredibly bland.
Thankfully, the supporting cast is better. In addition to Astin, familiar faces include Eaton (who played the Trinity Killer’s son on Dexter) and Currie Graham, who plays a doctor (his credits include Grimm and the Assault on Precinct 13 remake).
But the real star, and the only reason to watch the movie, is Vincent Guastini. He’s the makeup effects creator and designer, and his work is fantastic. Highlights include a repulsive oral sex scene and a sequence that involves a hand, a gun, and a face. You have to see it to believe it. There’s a lot of blood and gore, and it looks incredible. If only it was supporting a better film. Still, if you’re a fan of good old-fashioned makeup effects, this one’s worth a watch. Just don’t expect the movie itself to be anything to write home about.
