Now available on DVD
Cast:
Jill Wagner as Polly
Paulo Costanzo as Seth
Shea Whigham as Dennis
Rachel Kerbs as Lacey
Directed by: Toby Wilkins
Review:
I always try to learn a thing or two from horror movies. You know, just in case. Just in case I’m stuck in a situation where I’m getting hunted by a dude with a chainsaw, or a dude with a machete and a hockey mask, or a dude that invades my dreams. You can’t be too careful these days.
Here’s what I learned from Splinter, one of the best monster movies to come along in some time:
Never go camping.
Never pick up or even slow down for hitchhikers.
Never be the one to change the tire.
Don’t discount meth addicts’ crazy tales.
The glass at gas station quickie marts is surprisingly durable.
You can break bone using cinder blocks that are conveniently, albeit strangely, located in the refrigerator.
Even if you lower your body temperature, you’re still screwed because you can’t walk straight.
If you see a porcupine, for the love of God man, run the other way.
OK, calling Splinter a monster movie may not be altogether accurate. Because it is never firmly established whether the organism in question is an animal, vegetable or mineral or is it a parasite/virus that infects anything that is a suitable host â small furry animals, humans, a steel-belt tire or even just appendages of these objects.
Splinter begins with Polly (Jill Wagner, formerly part of the Blade TV series and “sideline” hostess of ABC’s Wipeout) and Seth (Paulo Costanzo) failing at camping for their anniversary and stumbling into two outlaws obviously on the run from authorities, Dennis (Shea Whigham), the dude with the gun and meth addicted Lacey (Rachel Kerbs).
The first experience with the Splinter beast comes after running over some creature infected with the organism that pops the tire and the radiator of the SUV that Dennis and Lacey hijacked and kidnapped Polly and Seth.
Of course, these two groups are destined to stumble upon the one place on God’s green Earth that contains another Splinter beast, a gas station. There the corpse of the gas station attendant infected with the creature attacks and kills Lacey forcing the other three to huddle up inside the gas station as the beast stalks their prey.
From there things go from bad to worse as Dennis, who got pricked when changing the tire during their first experience, begins to have the organism coursing through his veins, even popping out all over his forearm in a mega brutal scene. But you ain’t seen nothing yet as in order to stop it from taking him completely over, they must cut off the arm â shown in goretastic detail and where said cinder blocks come into play.
As they race to get out of the gas station and to safety, a number of ideas to get out utterly fail and either just piss off the beast or force them to deal with some appendage that comes through a crack in the door or whatever. Yes, appendages.
The ending while not nearly as brutal and inventive as what came before it, works and finalizes what has to be one of the most brutal, inventive and nasty monster/creature/virus/parasite movies to come along in some time.
Extras:
Considering Splinter is offered up as a single disc DVD. There are a nice handful of special features included on the DVD. While most of these are small and under five minutes in length, at least they are here, at least they are something with meat to them, which is more than I can say for a lot of DVD releases.
“The Splinter Creature” featurette is a good look at how they came up with the idea of the creature and what the poor bastards that had to be in the make-up had to go through in order to make it become believable beasties. These guys had to be contortionists to an extent in order to perform and give the creature the feeling that come offs in the film. They included some of the pre-filming movements with the gymnasts they hired which is a great pull back the curtain moment.
“Oklahoma Weather” briefly discusses filming a movie that contains no rain during one of the rainiest parts of the Oklahoma seasons and having to fight to get a shot when things dried up.
“Shooting Digitally” featurette discusses how the move to digital is actually here and the benefits of moving to digital over that of film. The ability to film 10 to 15 minutes at once and not worry about using a slew of film and/or erasing what you need. And a nice little bit about how they were able to shoot during the day by placing a black tarp over the gas station set and inventing darkness.
The “Make Splinter Pumpkins” featurette is a little fun tutorial by Wagner for decorating Halloween pumpkins making them appear as if affected by the Splinter virus/parasite/etc. using a knife and posterboard. I might try it. The only thing is most people probably won’t get it. But it is a fun little featurette and we get to see Wagner’s kitchen.
“Building the Gas Station” featurette is pretty amusing as they gutted an old building in the middle of an Oklahoma town and added $1 gas pumps and everything else that they bought from the 99 Cent store to fill the gas station insides.
“The Wizard” focuses on the special effects/pyro dude that tells a bit about his background in the special forces that allowed him to get the knowledge to blow shit up. He never knew he would be able to use that knowledge to blow shit up in Hollywood.
The creature art gallery is a mix of still images and digital photos of what the director and others wanted from the monsters in the film and the way they act.
