SHOCK’s Alyse Wax begins her series of recaps of AMC’s PREACHER.
PREACHER opens with a cheesy outer space graphic, and an asteroid hurtling towards Earth. It “lands” in Africa, where it strikes down a preacher. The preacher stands and his congregation thinks it is a miracle – until he starts screaming in a demonic voice: “I am the prophet; the chosen one.” He explodes in a flood of blood, sending his congregation screaming. The “asteroid” rushes from the church.
In Texas, Jesse Custer wakes from a hard night of drinking, dresses in his preacher’s collar, grabs his sermon, and leaves. He stops to fix a dirty message kids left on the church message board, then heads up the long dirt road to his small town, middle-of-nowhere church. He reads his sermon and realizes he left a page at home. It doesn’t matter; most of his minimal congregation is not paying attention. Jesse himself is barely paying attention to what he is saying. He dismisses church.
Outside, the congregation has a post-church BBQ. Rednecks are shooting squirrels; Jesse sits in the shade, far away from the others in hopes that no one will talk to him. No such luck, as Ted, a sad, single middle-aged man whines obsessively over his mother. A kid brings Jesse a beer and wants him to hurt his dad, Donny. He is mean, mostly to his mom Betsey. Donny is one of the rednecks shooting squirrels, and Jesse sees him grip Betsey’s arm with alarming force. “People said before you came back here, you did things,” the kid says. Jesse contemplates the request, then starts talking about hurting Donny, violence escalating…Jesse realizes he was enjoying imagining the situation, then promises to help the kid with his dad.
That night there is a town event to celebrate changing the local high school mascot from a “savage” to a prairie dog. The celebration is a violent riot. Jesse watches on the periphery, but has no interest in either side. Instead, he goes back to his car and drinks. The sheriff shows up, not to bust Jesse but to give him a message: Eugene wants him to swing by. Jesse will, and tells the sheriff about Donny and Betsey. Sheriff will only listen if and when she makes a formal complaint.
30,000 feet up. A private jet is hosting a group of rich men doing a lot of blow. Cassidy, the bartender, is telling dirty jokes and getting along well with them. He excuses himself to the bathroom and notices a bible amongst the reading material. Inside are crazy notes and scrawlings. Cassidy gets an evil look on his face and returns to the party. He realizes they are flying the wrong direction and confronts the men. This leads to a bloodbath, with Cassidy killing every man on board – including the pilots – with an impressive array of weapons: spear, axe, crossbow. Before he dies, one of the pilots calls Cassidy an abomination and sprinkles holy water on him. It has no effect, and Cassidy rips his throat out. A fire erupts in the cockpit and Cassidy realizes it is time to go. He fills a bottle with blood from the pilot, grabs an umbrella, and jumps from the plane.
Jesse is having lunch with Emily, a young widow with three children. Ted is still blathering on about his mother, no matter how much Jesse ignores him. The mayor hits on Emily, but she clearly has a crush on Jesse. Jesse is oblivious. After lunch, Jesse visits Walter, a fat old man whom he discovers passed out on his sofa. Jesse goes to his room to get him a shirt, when he hears the shower running. Sees a gun on the dresser. Hears a woman singing. Pissed off, Jesse throws the shirt at Walter and gets the hell out of there. The woman gets out of the shower and watches Jesse from the window. This is Tulip.
In Kansas, “not long ago,” Tulip is being attacked by two men as she drives through a corn field. It is a wild fight, and Tulip kills one man before she is able to regain control of the car. Tulip pushes the live man out of the car and kills him with a corn cob in the mouth. Looking around, Tulip realizes she crashed into a backyard, and two kids are watching her every move with a look of awe. The little girl proudly announces that her mom is dead; her dad is at work; and she is in charge. “Who likes arts and crafts?”
Inside the house, Tulip and the kids make a homemade bazooka with some empty cans and daddy’s moonshine. She teaches them some life lessons, like how a girl doesn’t need a man to help her. Then she hides the kids in the cellar and warns them not to come out until the noises stop. The kids stand there, staring up at the cellar doors, listening to banging and explosions and watching flashes of lights. The noises stop, and the kids exit to find a crashed helicopter in their yard, and several dead guys. Tulip says a fond farewell to the kids.
Cassidy made a crater on the ground, out in the middle of nowhere. His torso exploded, guts hanging out. His bottle of blood broke…but a cow peers down at him. He grabs the cow to feast.
Jesse wakes from a nightmare about watching his father be shot to death. He dozed off in his car, but now has to go confront Betsey. He wants her to confide in him, to tell him if her husband ever hurts her. Betsey looks uncomfortable, but admits he beats her, bites her, punches her, whips her. Jesse wants her to make a complaint to the sheriff so he will stop, but Betsey doesn’t want him to stop. “I like it when he hurts me,” she says with a wicked smile. Jesse is disturbed by this.
In Russia, a Magister leading a night mass met the same fate as his African counterpart. Two men who investigated in Africa are there to investigate this new explosion.
Jesse comes across Tulip in a parking lot. She thanks him for checking up on her uncle, and wants to tell him about a job. Jesse is not “doing jobs” anymore, but Tulip believes he “misses it.” They apologize to one another for unspoken sins of the past, but Tulip is glad they still hate each other; makes everything easier. Jesse doesn’t hate her. He wouldn’t know how.
Next on his tour of the townsfolk is Eugene. Dad angrily prepares a beef smoothie for Eugene and gives it to Jesse to bring to Eugene. He climbs the stairs slowly, tensely, as ominous music builds. The door at the top of the stairs opens, and an exuberant boy welcomes him into his room. This is Eugene, or as comic fans know him, Arseface. They speak of sins and forgiveness, and Eugene mentions he wants to go to church, but his dad thinks his unusual deformity will be a distraction. “If you want to be there, you should be there,” Jesse assures him. They talk about faith and talking to god, and Eugene worries there are some things so bad god will never forgive them. “God doesn’t hold grudges,” Jesse assures him. “You get on your knees and you really listen, and he’ll say something.” Eugene grips Jesse in a tight hug.
Jesse goes straight to the bar for a drink. On the TV, a news report announces that Tom Cruise is dead after he exploded at a Scientology meeting. Cassidy strolls in, 100% mended, and starts chatting up Jesse. Because of his thick Irish brogue, Jesse doesn’t understand him. Cassidy heads to the bathroom, and stops to make a phone call. He doesn’t know how they keep finding him, but they do. Donny and his war reenactment buddies come into the bar, and as soon as he sees Jesse, Donny punches him for talking to his wife. He taunts Jesse about what a badass he used to be. Jesse doesn’t respond until Donny threatens to go beat his son. Something snaps in Jesse, and he beats the hell out of Donny and his friends. In the middle of the pounding, Jesse smiles, just a little bit. He had missed this. The sheriff comes in to break up the brawl, but Jesse has a finishing move: a compound fracture to Donny’s arm.
Jesse and Cassidy end up in the same jail cell (I guess the cops thought they were together) and Jesse realizes he never should have come back here. He admits to Cassidy that he has broken thousands of promises, but promises matter; that is the currency of faith. “I have zero hope and I feel bloody fantastic,” Cassidy enthuses. Jesse is bailed out, and the two leave on friendly terms.
Emily bailed out Jesse, and she takes him home. Before getting out of the car, he tells her he is done being a preacher, and will announce his departure at Sunday service. Emily is not going to try to talk him out of it, but after he leaves the car, she takes her frustration and hurt out on her kids’ iPad.
As Jesse heads home, he notices banging and a bright light coming from the church. Ted has called with more mother complaints, but after seeing the ruckus in the church, Jesse hangs up and goes to investigate. Inside, the power is out and everything seems quiet. While he is there, Jesse takes Eugene’s advice and decides on one last attempt at conversation with god. “I want an answer or I’m done,” he says, then gets on his knees, asking for god to forgive him. Silence. “Yeah, thought as much,” he grumbles, then lights up a cigarette. “Fuck you, too.” The door creaks open and slams shut. A wave goes through the air, like predator when he is hunting. The nebulous form moves towards Jesse, eventually knocking him back onto the altar.
Jesse wakes from more nightmares about his father’s murder to find Emily watching over him. She found him passed out in the church, and he has been asleep for the past three days. Also, Cassidy has moved into the church’s attic. Jesse can’t worry about that now; he is late for church. It is Sunday.
On the way into the church, Ted catches up with Jesse for more whining about mother. At the end of his rope, Jesse tells him, for the last time, to “tell her the truth, be brave, open your heart.” This seems to bring peace to Ted and he rushes off, away from church.
Inside the church, a wannabe punk girl plays a terrible rendition of “Amazing Grace.” Tulip sneaks in to a back pew, not far from where Cassidy is trying to sleep. Jesse takes the pulpit and promises no sermon today, and he will try not to punch anyone, either. His attempt at humor falls flat, so Jesse moves on to his main announcement. “The other night, someone asked why I came back. I didn’t have an answer, at least not a convincing one,” he begins. “I’ve let you down. I hurt by not helping. I’ve been a bad preacher, and I’m sorry for that.” He seems to go back and forth in his mind, until he sees Eugene in the audience. “Fuck it, I can’t quit,” Jesse proclaims. These people deserve a good preacher, and he vows to be one, one who prays for the sinners and offers peace to the restless. “I am that preacher. This is why I have come home: to save you.”
Ted is not in church, because Ted is on a plane, heading to Florida to see his mother. “Be brave, tell her the truth, open your heart,” he repeats as a mantra. He continues his mantra as he drives to her nursing home, marches in, and sits before his surprised mother. He tells her, firmly and honestly, that he wants her to stop calling to criticize him, and demands she treat him with kindness. “Now I have to open my heart to you.” He jams a huge knife into his chest and pulls out his beating heart. He manages only to hold it for a second or two before he collapses.
Ted is on a plane, repeating: be brave, tell her the truth, open your heart. gets in car, drives to visit mom in nursing home. he sits before mom, surprised to see him. he would appreciate if she stopped calling at all hours to criticize, etc. treat me with kindness. now i have to open my heart to you. he jams knife into chest, pulls out his bleeding heart, collapses
The two men, who had been to the other “asteroid” sites, are in Texas. One comes to the other, eating a tea bag in his truck, and tells him, “It’s here.” They don their cowboy hats and look down the road to the church.
Tune in next week for more words on PREACHER!
