From a horrifying clown to a two-headed woman, the season is packed with oddities both frightening and fascinating, the season inviting us into one of the most interesting places on the planet.
Of course, most of us are no strangers to these sorts of bizarre and unique individuals, as many horror movies over the years have introduced us to characters that are quite frankly more unusual than anything you’d ever find in an actual freak show. In fact, the entire genre is in many ways one big cinematic freak show, and isn’t that what we love about it?
Today, in celebration of American Horror Story‘s fourth season, we shine the spotlight on 10 horror movie oddities that wouldn’t at all be out of place in the freak show that serves as the backdrop for the season. So come one, come all, to the wildest freak show of them all!
Look. But don’t touch. You have been warned…
10 Horror Freak Show Oddities
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#1
Debbie the Roach Girl - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master
Whereas guys like Jason and Michael typically do away with their victims in relatively quick fashion, Freddy really plays around with his, like a kid who wants to get some enjoyment out of his food before eating it. And nobody in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise got it worse than poor Debbie Stevens, whose fear of cockroaches was gruesomely exploited by the dream demon. In the sequel's most memorable moment, Debbie literally became a human cockroach, her arms splitting in half and monstrous insect legs sprouting in their place. Put her in a roach motel-inspired set and you've got freak show gold on your hands.
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#2
The Man Who Lost His Head - Re-Animator
When Dr. Carl Hill pushes too many of Herbert West's buttons in 1985's Re-Animator, he finds himself without his head, though that doesn't stop the brain surgeon from being a pesky thorn in the mad doctor's side. West re-animates Dr. Hill's body as well as his head, separate from one another, resulting in a headless body that walks and a severed head that talks. In other words, a freak show duo that you'd simply have to see to believe. Just keep your young daughters away from this particular attraction, as Dr. Hill has an unsettling history in that department.
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#3
The Adorable Butt Demon - Bad Milo
Last year's Bad Milo is one of my favorite horror-comedies in recent years, the heart-warming tale of a pint-sized demon that lives inside a dude's butthole. A loving homage to the rubber monster movies from the 80s, Bad Milo is equal parts gory, entertaining and surprisingly touching, and the title character ranks right up there with Gizmo and Verne Troyer on the 'that is really fucking cute' scale. Who knew hemorrhoids could be so adorable? Give me a butt plug and I'd love nothing more than to pay the little dude a visit at the freak show's petting zoo.
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#4
The Amazing Alligator Woman - Tokyo Gore Police
Movies don't get much more bizarre and over the top than 2008's Tokyo Gore Police, a Japanese flick directed by the wonderfully odd Yoshihiro Nishimura. In a nutshell, it's about a mad scientist who has found a way to turn humans into monsters, a special virus allowing for any and all wounds to transform into horrifying weapons of mass destruction. At one point in the film we meet this particularly memorable test subject, whose legs have become the hungry jaws of an alligator. Something tells me she'd get along real well with American Horror Story's Lobster Boy...
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#5
The Sharktopus - Sharktopus
In fairness, most of Syfy's absurd creations would be right at home in any freak show around the country. But if there's one of their scientific abominations that I'd most like to see swimming around in a tank, it's definitely Sharktopus - a mash-up monster who was quite frankly born to be the headline attraction at the freak show. A genetically engineered weapon gone rogue, Sharktopus is 50% shark, 50% octopus and 100% awe-inspiring sight to behold, a quick glimpse of his totally unnatural beauty worth the price of admission, in and of itself . For a little extra you can even pay to feed him. Just don't point and laugh. He's really sensitive about his legs.
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#6
The Impossibly Thin Woman - [REC]
As I inch dangerously close to my thirties, I consider myself a pretty jaded horror fan, and my ability to be scared by movies is largely a thing of the past. Well, at least that's what I thought until I sat down one fateful night and watched the found footage film [REC]. No character in recent horror past has put the fear of God in me more than the film's 'Medeiros girl,' who pops up during the absolutely bone-chilling climax of the Spanish zombie flick. Chain her to the wall, give guests night-vision goggles and charge them an arm and a leg to shit their pants. Personally, I'd stay away from this one. But be my guest, if you're feeling brave.
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#7
The Walking Head - The Thing
No horror movie monster does more damage to its victims than the unseen 'thing' from John Carpenter's gory 1982 remake, which takes over the bodies of its hosts and proceeds to wreak complete havoc on them. There's no better example of the alien parasite's gruesome ways than the assimilation of Outpost 31 geologist Vance Norris, whose head rips itself off his mutated body and grows spider legs, in a desperate attempt to avoid the wrath of MacReady's flamethrower. With a set of eyes coming out of Norris' neck hole and six skinny legs emerging from his head, this monster has freak show written all over it.
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#8
The Woman with the Machine Gun Leg - Planet Terror
With Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez created a sexy female companion piece to The Evil Dead's chainsaw-handed stud Ash, in the form of stripper-turned-heroine Cherry Darling. After Cherry loses her leg, it's not long before the missing limb is replaced with a high-powered machine gun, which she uses to blast revenge-fueled holes through the film's infected villains. I can't imagine any man, woman or child on this planet not wanting to take a picture with this oddity, and might I also suggest a kissing booth? No? Pushing it? Okay then. A picture is fine.
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#9
The Ravenous Mattress - Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
Only recently dug up from the cemetery of obscurity and released onto Blu-ray, 1977's Death Bed is about as weird as movies get, centering on a sentient bed that consumes anything that it comes into contact with - be it fried chicken, cigars or tender human flesh. How the titular bed came to be so evil and hungry is a whacky bit of backstory that you'll just have to discover for yourself. If you haven't seen the movie, all you really need to know for now is that the bed eats things, and I don't know about you, but I'd totally pay good money at the freak show to watch it digest shit. Well, not actual shit. But you know what I mean.
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#10
Sam the Pumpkin Boy - Trick 'r Treat
Since he's essentially the embodiment of Halloween, it's only natural that Trick 'r Treat's loveable icon Sam is actually a living, breathing pumpkin. His head is a carved jack o'lantern and his innards ooey, gooey and orange, packed with the seeds many of us joyfully chow down on during the Halloween season. Though I'd hate to see the adorable protector of America's best holiday confined to a cage, I can't help but feel that he's a perfect addition to the freak show stable. I just hope that his handlers let him roam free every Halloween night, to punish those who are disobeying the traditions he works so hard to preserve. Because if not him, then who?
