One haunt I look forward to year after year is Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, mostly because this is the one attraction that draws upon the films and television shows I like. I’ve been lucky enough to visit the event on both coasts and the teams behind HHN Hollywood and Orlando work their asses off.
This year, The Walking Dead returns to HHN. Even though I’d like to see Universal move on from this title, I’ll tell you this: It will likely draw the same insane crowds it brought in last year where the wait time was an hour and 45 minutes. From Dusk Till Dawn could be fun. I can’t wait to see what they do with An American Werewolf in London. Alien vs. Predator? I honestly couldn’t care less.
Reflecting on these selections this year, I got to thinking of mazes I would do if I had control of Halloween Horror Nights for a year and didn’t have to worry about sponsors, licensing, the execs and all of those other moving parts that make this thing happen.
Here’s what I came up with…
Halloween Horror Nights Wish List
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#5
THE HAUNTED WORLD OF LUCIO FULCI: Okay, so the first maze in my Halloween Horror Nights takeover is a celebration of all things Lucio Fulci. A cohesive narrative doesn't apply to this maze, but it will be highly stylized. I'm thinking The Beyond, City of the Living Dead and Zombi will dominate this maze's inspiration, but I don't see why we couldn't work in a little New York Ripper (prop phones with the sound of quacking coming out of the receiver) and The House By the Cemetery as well. As long as it carries its visitors through an exit that resembles The Beyond's bleak, ashen, body-strewn landscape I'll be happy.
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#4
PHANTASM: Halloween Horror Nights has embraced every horror franchise but this one. And, seriously, Don Coscarelli's world is so ripe for a maze. For my second maze, you'll be carried through the Morningside cemetery and into the bowels of the mausoleum where attendees will encounter flying silver spheres, dwarves, creeps that bleed yellow and, of course, the Tall Man himself. Mike ill serve as our focus and he'll anchor the maze's narrative popping up here and there with Jody and, of course, Reggie. Crank up that familiar soundtrack and we've got one creepy maze experience!
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#3
RE-ANIMATOR: Maze number three relies heavily on the prosthetics and present a lot of makeup challenges as it brings the world of Herbert West to vibrant, bloody life. This one can draw from both Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator as there are some visually stunning creations in both. The backdrop? Miskatonic University where visitors are told Herbert has been at it again, messing about with his reagent, but...his experiments have gone wildly out of control. The maze culminates in the revelation of something grotesque and inhuman that ultimately carries the actor playing Herbert away to an uncertain doom.
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#2
THE WICKER MAN: Welcome to Summerisle! My fourth maze satisfies the "we need a masked killer" experience. You're not wanted on Summerisle and its residents - wearing their animal masks - are going to let you know that here. They're driving you in a very specific direction...but where? To the Wicker Man, of course, which can be accomplished with a towering structure and fake fire FX.
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#1
THE FUNHOUSE: This is a no-brainer in my mind. My Halloween Horror Nights takeover embraces this Universal production directed by Tobe Hooper. It begins with a trek through a carnival-like environment, populated by various carnie barkers, that guides visitors into the funhouse itself where the "freak" awaits.
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BONUS!
I've got to think about "Scare Zones," right? Who will populate these? Well, I have an idea for one... The parasite-infected tenants of David Cronenberg's Shivers. These sexually-charged deviants will get you running to your next maze!
Scare Zone Runner-Up: Krug and company from The Last House on the Left...
