Have you ever wanted to spend a tequila-fueled weekend with the worst people in the world? Well, have I got the film for — oh… what’s that? That sounds like a horrible way to spend your time? I am so happy to hear you say that. Then I do not have to recommend you see the found footage “comedy” that has sat on Paramount’s shelf for two years, Drunk Wedding. And that’s a good thing, because this is a film that should not be recommended under any circumstance whatsoever. This is a film that made me angry people now have the capabilities to make a movie whenever they want, not just because it isn’t funny, but because it screams, “Quality? You want quality? How about I shit on your face?”
Adam Sandler is often criticized that his films feel like he is just getting paid to go on vacation with his friends and lazily slaps together a film in the meantime. This is true, but never has such a sentiment felt more true than with Drunk Wedding. It feels like director Nick Weiss cobbled together $105,000, rented out a resort in Nicaragua, and just had his cast fart around for a bit. It’s as if he thought People do crazy stuff at weddings, so that’s all I have to do. And we will make it found footage, so we don’t have to do setups and waste time, y’know, making a movie. We can get to the beach and the bars faster that way.
The story of Drunk Wedding, or I guess I should say “premise” because there is no story, is two people are having a destination wedding, and one of their friends decides to give everyone cameras so they can document it all. That’s basically it. Then they just go from one stupid and/or awful thing to the next. Multiple people are barged in while having sex, a guy gets peed on by another guy thinking he is about to have sex with a girl he is into, and many, many scenes of watching people party and drink like fish. So, picture any of those straight-to-DVD National Lampoon movies that have come out in the past ten or so years and make it a found footage film. That’s what this is.
This is not to say I’m against raunchy or gross-out humor. If used effectively, it can be really funny, but there has to be something else going on besides thinking a guy being forced into a threesome with another man is gross. If it’s just stupid behavior for ninety minutes without either acknowledging how stupid it is, or using it for a narrative purpose, then it becomes boring and eventually infuriating. With every passing one-upping of how terrible one person could be to another, I just got more and more angry.
You may have noticed I’ve not used a single actor’s name in this review. That’s because each of them are interchangeable morons. No one develops a distinct character, but then again, how can you develop a character when there is nothing else to propel you in any way. They’re all on a spectrum that ranges from complete idiot to complete sociopath, and their antics aren’t amusing in the slightest.
I’ve also not used the actors’ names because I don’t want to put the blame of this slapped together nonsense on them. They did what they were told, and sometimes you just have to take the gigs you’re offered. They got a trip to Nicaragua out of it, so I guess they’re okay.
When the best thing I can say about a film is that it was playing at an Alamo Drafthouse so I could order food, that is a serious problem. Quite frankly, this shouldn’t be playing there (or anywhere) because there’s no good reason this should have ever been picked up for distribution. This is a film for the filmmakers to only see and look back on thinking, “What a crazy time.” I paid $10.25 for this film. Not only do I want that back, I want an additional $10.25 on top of that, and a written apology from Paramount would be nice as well. This was a truly unpleasant experience from start to finish, akin to Movie 43. If I could give this film lower than a “F”, I would.
