Putting aside any attempt to fcall You Don’t Mess with the Zohan offensive to just about every nationality represented in the film, let’s just leave it at the fact that Adam Sandler has once again created a messy, steamy pile of unfunny crap that hardly passes for a film. This continues a trend set forth by the likes of Click and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The difference here being that I don’t think the gullible general audiences will be duped once again into giving Sandler yet another $100+ million take at the box-office.
Zohan centers on the title character played by Sandler. Zohan is something of a superhero working for the Israeli army and he decides he wants to be done with the life of capturing terrorists (primarily the Phantom played by John Turturro) and retire to America where he can live out his dream as a hairstylist. Yeah, crazy isn’t it.
Upon arrival we learn that not only does Zohan have a knack for styling hair but his popularity grows even larger as he also shows a flare for geriatric sex acts with his customers. Of course, considering we already saw Zohan play a game of pickle-ball with the Phantom using a grenade after he performed Spider-Man style stunts this shouldn’t come as that much of a shock. And it doesn’t. The real shock is that Sandler and whoever greenlit this script actually believed this passed for comedy.
As Sandler trounces around, banging 90-year-olds and overweight moms we lay victim to his faux accent, which is a cross between French and something else, but if he was going for Middle Eastern he missed the mark by a mile. To top it all off there is a running gag involving humus and its use for just about everything, including hair gel and a fire extinguisher, that will have you begging for the nearly two-hour feature to end so the suffering can be over.
If there is a God, we are in the presence of Sandler’s first major flop since Little Nicky in 2000, or as I like to refer to it, The Film That Stopped Adam from Being Original and Becoming a Corporate Whore. Hopefully just as that film shifted Adam’s attention from the juvenile, yet funny, movies such as Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore we can only hope he finds Act Three in his career and move on to something a little better.
Adam, you were amazing in Reign Over Me, why not explore that a little more? Whatever you do, stop with these brainless PG-13 comedies that not only insult the audience but are a black mark on your career.
