Being a child of the ’80s I am certainly familiar with the Transformers, primarily through their toy line and the animated cartoon and the 1986 movie. As the promotion for this new live-action/CGI version began to ramp up I quickly began to see the differences in the cartoon I enjoyed as a kid and what Michael Bay had done to turn the “robots in disguise” into a feature film that both kids and adults would enjoy. The only question is whether or not Bay and the script by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman were successful, and for the most part it was… action wise that is.
The story is simple as an alien cube referred to as the “Allspark” has been lost on Earth. This cube gives life to any machine it comes in contact with and makes them evil, a device Megatron and his evil Decepticons are searching to find in an effort to wage war and conquer any planet they come in contact with. The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, are determined to find it first and make sure that doesn’t happen.
Transformers begins just about as kick ass as you could want with an attack on a military outpost in Qatar. It is dark and moody and certainly enough to get you into the film. From there you are slowly introduced to the human players including Shia LaBeouf, who is actually quite, quite good in this flick leading me to believe that he just might be the next big thing, and his romantic interest Megan Fox, who is obviously here to give us something pretty to look at.
Other human characters include Jon Voight in a decent turn as the Secretary of Defense, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese as two “tough as nails” army fellas who were caught in the Qatar attack and John Turturro as the worst thing about this movie. Turturro is one of our greatest actors, but his role as Sector 7 Agent Simmons was absolutley ridiculous. He gives Andre Braugher in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer a run for worst performance of the year.
However, the humans are secondary to the giant transforming robots, and like the cartoon the Autobots have something of a childish quality to them ripping off lines that will keep little kids entertained and will perhaps annoy some adults more interested in a solid storyline to go along with the cool effects. However, if you look too deep into this story you are going to come out very disappointed. Transformers is a film filled with glossy effects that are absolutely astonishing, but the story and dialogue is so simple and, well, stupid… that if you begin to tire of effects you are going to find yourself extremely bored.
Watching a helicopter and an F-22 transform into a robot is one of the coolest things I have seen all summer long, but when these robots tangle with anything other than human targets you get lost in a mish-mash of metal and have a hard time really figuring out what exactly is going on. Also, when the Autobots transform into cars and begin driving down the highway I was surprised at just how taken out of the storyline I really was. Everything that was cool about them being transforming robots was lost in a split second as I waited for Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” to begin playing.
There was a group of four people sitting in front of me that were obviously Transformer junkies, and acted as if this was the greatest movie of all time. While hardcore Transformer fans may agree with those four, most people will probably be let down, especially considering the hype surrounding this pic. I also think the trailers present us with what looks like it will be a dark and moody film only to come and find out it is rather light and has several jokes and one-liners peppered throughout.
Don’t get me wrong, I think you should go see it in theaters, this is an action packed and effects filled spectacle, but don’t expect anything more than that. Transformers is fun, but if you want an action film to satiate your palette this July check out Live Free or Die Hard, it has all the ridiculous plotlines you could ask for and a story to boot.
