On the heels of some vastly profound news out of Coming Soon citing “Main Line Today” saying that not only is Three Sistas filming in Philadelphia (consider me floored), but “possibly Transformers 2” will be as well, we have received some exclusive and utterly mind blowing news concerning the next Transformers film. Get ready for this…
Transformers 2 might be doing one, none or all of the following:
- It may have robots and they will be cool as shit! PWNED! AWESOME! FUCK YOU!
- There may be another scene where the Transformers have to avoid parental detection causing them to tip-toe even more than the last time!
- The entire production may shoot underwater off the coast of Florida. Rumor has it that this may cause the Transformers to rust and alternatives are being considered.
- Paramount may sue TriStar Pictures for naming rights to T2.
- As a “fuck you” to Joe Wright, Michael Bay may be considering a 2 hour and 32 minute one shot with plenty of explosions and overall awesomeness.
- Script details are being kept quiet because there may not be one. Cast members are being rounded up from “Groundlings” in Los Angeles.
- Shooting on Cybertron was considered until Michael Bay learned of the cost of space travel.
- Optimus Prime may die trying to save Megatron from his underwater grave. (Water is going to be a big player in T2!)
- Michael Bay may ask President Bush to build a real Transformer because not only would it help the film, but it may end terrorism. Bush hasn’t ruled it out yet as logistics are being considered.
- Product placement may be considered for ultra-size Tampax and adult diapers as a running gag once again featuring Bumblebee and Agent Simmons (Turturro) is sure to make us laugh our asses off.
- In honor of the death of Jazz, a Transformer voiced by a black guy may star in Step Up 3D in a major crossover promotion!
- Harrison Ford may have a cameo in the film as Shia’s grandfather.
- Megan Fox may have a nude scene in the film only to reveal she is in fact a man. Yeah, that one messed me up too.
Of course, these are all things that may happen so don’t get your hopes up even though it would make for a superior flick. Just imagine… A 2 hour and 32 minute one shot, underwater, with explosions, Harrison Ford and a Crying Game homage! Did I mention there would be robots too?!?! Sign me up!
