So here we are. The WGA has shut the party down and all the Hollywood Foreign Press (from here on out they will be referred to as “Nermal”) can do is hand out the awards and hope someone picks them up in a few weeks. It’s a sad state of affairs. We’ve heard this will be a press conference style presentation, complete with Matt Lauer interviews, but I’ll be switching all around the dial starting at 8pm est as other channels will be reporting on the Globes. I might go as late as 10pm pst, which would be a five hour live diary. If that transpires you can assume the jokes near the end will read a lot like prison letters.
4:52:19 PM: We’re live! Whoooooo!
4:52:35 PM: So then, what themes could come out of tonight? Atonement could get a bit of momentum… or No Country for Old Men… or There Will Be Blood. I guess what I’m saying is this; the media will need a story of some kind besides “The Globes Sucked” so we will have to keep a look out.
4:54:02 PM: Tuned in to CNN just in time to see Larry King about to do his thing. This is getting ugly quick.
4:57:05 PM: Tony Harris just told me there won’t be any “glitz or glam.” But there will be “Larry King Cheating Death.”
5:01:21 PM: Looks like the Globes won’t be announced for an hour. CNN has switched to a show called “Chasing Angelina” about photogs chasing Jolie down. It may be, no exaggeration, the worst show ever.
5:03:03 PM: Ok, I can’t watch that. We’ll be back at 6:00pm. Sorry, but if there comes a day when I have to watch shows about chasing Jolie it will be the same day I buy a large handgun. See you soon my fine feathered friends!
5:36:28 PM: Just thought of one other theme: Juno gaining more big momentum. Although I don’t see how that could translate into anything Oscar.
5:37:55 PM: FOX is on the tube, with Geraldo breaking down Britney Spears. Informative, hard hitting stuff. Thanks guys. Thanks for the effort.
5:38:52 PM: I mean really? Brit Spears? On Globe night? Haven’t we all earned an exemption?
5:44:35 PM: Back on CNN they are talking about the PR game. Defamer.com is the subject. CNN called their approach “Often hilarious.” It’s almost as if someone at CNN said “Hmmm… what ARE Blogs? We got anything on THOSE?”
5:46:39 PM: Publicists complain that blogs don’t always get their facts right?? SCOOP!
5:48:35 PM: Chasing Angelina is almost over. We’re going to make it through this, don’t you fret.
5:53:46 PM: US Weekly paid 500k for photos of Brad and Angelina. Note to self: Learn how to operate camera.
5:54:40 PM: They just showed Jen Aniston giving a quote on paparazzi from the Derailed press day. That’s funny stuff. They would have KILLED to have someone get the news out on that disaster.
5:59:24 PM: This is it! Larry King is giving us a FRONT ROW pass! I love that crazy old bastard again, he’s won my heart.
6:00:02 PM: Does anyone have a favorite press conference they’d like to compare this to?
6:00:39 PM: Debbie Matenopoulos is the expert CNN has brought in for commentary. There goes my appreciation of Larry King.
6:01:29 PM: The sounds track is off from the video. This production screams “High Budget.”
6:01:56 PM: Supporting actress goes to: Cate Blanchett.
6:02:21 PM: CNN doesn’t even have time to speak, they are just running through these things…
6:02:43 PM: Blanchett won for I’m Not There if you’re scoring at home.
6:03:03 PM: Original Song goes to Into the Wild and Eddie Veder.
6:03:23 PM: Next up: Television Supporting Actor. I’m cheering for Bill Shatner. The Globe goes to Piven for “Entourage.”
6:04:41 PM: Out of seven noms for TV Actress Glenn Close takes it.
6:05:16 PM: The announcer gal is doing her best to make this less awkward… but it’s impossible. It’s like being beaten in public. You can’t escape it.
6:06:16 PM: You can find the winners here live too: CLICKY.
6:06:41 PM: Supporting Actress TV goes to Samantha Morton for something or other.
6:07:11 PM: Actor, TV goes to Jon Hamm for “Mad Men.” I’m glad AMC is rerunning that one, need to check it out.
6:07:54 PM: So a clip just randomly started for Bee Movie… and now Ratatouille. It looks as though the Animated Film Globe category is in the house. But no one is hitting cues and everything is going at warp speed. This is an official disaster.
6:08:45 PM: Ratatouille wins. Yay.
6:09:08 PM: Actress – Musical or Comedy goes as expected Marion Cotillard for La Vie En Rose.
6:09:34 PM: Larry King tries to speak… but no such luck. Gotta keep this trainwreck steaming ahead.
6:10:20 PM: TV Movie or Mini-series goes to “Longford.”
6:10:46 PM: Even the clapping sounds week, like a few dozen people are there.
6:11:02 PM: Supporting Actor – Motion Picture goes to Javier Bardem for No Country for Old Men.
6:11:25 PM: I’m happy about that one… and Larry King calling it incredible only seals the deal for me.
6:11:46 PM: Jim Broadbent wins something for… something.
6:12:09 PM: This reminds me of an auction.
6:12:22 PM: Queen Latifah wins for “Life Support.”
6:12:56 PM: My head is about to explode. Not only do I not have time for jokes, but if I spell something wrong I miss like two Globes.
6:13:37 PM: Okay, here comes Screenplay…
6:13:52 PM: The Coen Brothers take it, which means they’ve got two. Momentum?
6:14:18 PM: David Duchovny wins for “Californication”
6:15:29 PM: Look, I get why they can’t do a full show. But why doesn’t every announcement at least get a CLIP?? Or something? What was the budget here? $80? The HFP (Nermal) has got to be angry at how shoddy this is.
6:16:45 PM: “Extras” wins for TV Series Comedy and Larry King opines that the vote was probably close. He’s basing this on… well, nothing.
6:17:15 PM: Motion Picture – Actress goes to Julie Christie for Away From Her.
6:17:41 PM: New announcer tags in because the warp speed announcements can’t be handled by just one person.
6:18:08 PM: Motion Picture – Original Score goes to Atonement.
6:18:46 PM: Same deal. Smattering of applause, next warp speed announcement, me near passing out.
6:19:05 PM: TV Actress musical or comedy goes to Tina Fey.
6:19:24 PM: Do they get a reward if they finish under 30 minutes?
6:19:36 PM: Director Motion Picture goes to Julian Schnabel for Diving Bell and the Butterfly. First upset!
6:20:10 PM: Actor – Musical or Comedy goes to Johnny Depp for Sweeney Todd. Larry King just wonder why Daniel Day-Lewis wasn’t nominated… only There Will Be Blood wasn’t a MUSICAL OR COMEDY. Sigh.
6:21:28 PM: Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy goes to Sweeney Todd. Hey, they had clips for this one, almost like a real show! Seriously folks, this is the worst thing ever. Everyone involved should be ashamed.
6:24:04 PM: Foreign Language Film goes to Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
6:24:33 PM: TV series Drama goes to “Mad Men.” I don’t know how Daniel Day-Lewis wasn’t nominated for that one. To recap, No Country has two and Sweeney has two. None for Juno and Atonement has a little one for score.
6:27:14 PM: Again Larry King tries to speak, again he’s cut off by the runaway Globes.
6:27:35 PM: Actor – Motion Picture goes to Daniel Day-Lewis. Nice pull. Larry King calls the movie of the best “of all time.”
6:30:28 PM: Motion Picture – Drama goes to Atonement.
6:31:46 PM: Okay, so now Larry’s experts are trying to “react” only it’s all happened so quickly that it is impossible. Basically no one really won the evening, Atonement will get a little buzz off this, Juno is damaged for good, and No Country is is decent shape.
6:35:05 PM: Melissa Rivers is terrible. CNN is trying to make this seem better than it was… but trust me guys, this was sad.
6:35:43 PM: They rehearsed for 28 minutes, nothing was scripted, I get it, they were completely screwed. But why not have clips ready? That wouldn’t have taken writing. I’m still confused.
6:37:15 PM: I feel really bad for anyone who won a globe here. A guy like Javier Bardem has got to be a little depressed, right?
6:38:59 PM: The CNN gal on site is trying to defend the production. Oh dear, you’ve got to realize how sad this was. Yeah, bummer you had to cover it, but let’s not put a dress on a pig here.
6:40:05 PM: And now we’re discussing the strike. Which I suppose is the reason that the WGA pulled this stunt.
6:41:12 PM: Programming note: We’re going to watch the NBC show on tape delay because we were only able to watch CNN live. The joys of living out west.
6:47:39 PM: Another point; Why not make it an hour? At least that way the terrible commentary can happen and I can make fun of everyone. Now what do we have? Nada.
6:49:08 PM: The critic for People Magazine is the devil. However, She did just inform Larry King that the SAG awards have a waiver from the WGA so they at least will be normal. How does he not know this?? What business is he in? He chimes in “The plot thickens.” Sigh.
6:55:15 PM: Larry King is wondering what the reviews will be. I can tell ya pal: savage. There is no way a human could have watched this and come away impressed.
7:00:12 PM: Okay, NBC coverage time… Matt Lauer is ON it!
7:00:38 PM: To their credit they at least have a clip to start with. Bravo NBC.
7:01:33 PM: Dateline presents “Going for Gold!” Ooooh, I love the Olympics.
7:01:59 PM: This is going to be tops. Nothing says quality like a Hollywood interview.
7:02:54 PM: To all y’all who have never been to an interview let me break it down for you: No one every says anything different. Okay, okay, that’s not fully true, guys like Joss Whedon truly bring it… but 95% of all interviews are a complete waste of time. And now, thankfully, “Dateline” is going to show us a TON of them. In A ROW.
7:04:06 PM: First up, “The Closer” with Kyra Sedgwick (who won a Globe last year).
7:05:50 PM: First softball: Were you worried about going from movies to TV? My answer: Um, yeah. Her answer: Ha! Ha! I love everyone!
7:06:53 PM: Kyra helped rebuild New Orleans after Katrina. Can’t hate on that. The Live Diary salutes you!
7:07:43 PM: Next topic: her kids. Yep, this is getting hectic.
7:13:17 PM: McAvoy is our next puff piece. He was great in Atonement… but he was even better in Last King of Scotland. So this is a make up nomination, my favorite kind.
7:16:21 PM: It looks like these interviews were filmed in the actor’s hotel rooms… right before they attempted their escape.
7:17:19 PM: Matt Lauer asked his agent how to project that he didn’t want to be there. The answer: Cross your arms! That’s what he’s doing there.
7:17:50 PM: The Football Night in America Guys are talking Golden Globes. Totally natural. I’m guessing they saw 20% of these movies. 90 seconds later it’s all over.
7:21:11 PM: The commercials are easily the most produced segment of this evening. Can we ask the makers of Trident who they like for Best Picture (Musical or Comedy)?
7:23:55 PM: The Great Debaters will never be heard from again after this evening. Just saying.
7:26:49 PM: I’ve switched from coffee to beer… because this is getting merciless.
7:28:38 PM: Matt Lauer asks an interesting question (seriously) about a bible verse that Denzel wrote on his American Gangster script. However, Denzel ducks the question. Whew, I almost learned something. That was close.
7:36:42 PM: Bill Shatner is next on the dance card for “Boston Legal”. It’s impressive that they’re breaking down a show that’s been on four years. This is miserable.
7:54:41 PM: Frankly, I don’t want to “go for the gold” anymore. They should call this show “Going for the Depression.”
7:57:06 PM: Kathy Griffin is actually entertaining me. Hey, in the land of horrible the least horrible is king.
8:07:15 PM: I think we’re calling it… I got no more love to give you. Sorry man. But this is getting really rough, puff pieces and stock interview footage. Let’s all hope and pray that the Oscars don’t go out like this.
8:09:30 PM: This is Laremy Legel signing off. Stay cool people. Stay cool forever.
