Jorah steals a fisherman’s boat under the cover of dark and tosses Tyrion inside. Day comes and Tyrion sings obnoxiously through his gag until Jorah is annoyed enough to remove it. Practically the first thing he asks for is wine. Tyrion informs him he is going the wrong way, but Jorah isn’t taking him to Cersei; he is taking him to Daenerys. “What a waste of a good kidnapping,” Tyrion tells him, and explains that is the direction he was going. Since they are on the same side, he wants to be unshackled, and judging by his armor, figures out that he is Jorah and hoping to win back Daenerys’ favor by bringing him a royal imp as a gift. “You think she will execute me and pardon you? The reverse is just as likely.” This gets Tyrion a smack, and it is the last we see of the two this episode.
Jaime and Bronn are heading to Dorne on a merchant ship. Bronn tries to get Jaime to admit Myrcella is his daughter, not just his niece, but he won’t. They take a small rowboat to shore, have a breakfast of roasted snake, and discuss the ways they want to die. (Bronn wants a boring death; Jaime wants to die in the arms of the woman he loves.) Bronn worries that the captain of the merchant ship might reveal their whereabouts, but Jaime promises he paid the captain handsomely. Four guards on horseback are patrolling the dunes, and Bronn reveals their position claiming they are from Winterfell and their boat capsized. The guards make them put their swords down. Bronn does, but then stabs the guard in the neck with a dagger. He kills another one with his sword, and cuts the legs off the horse of the third, making that guard “slow enough” for Jaime to fight him. The guard gets Jaime backed against a sloping cliff and seems destined to defeat Jaime. Jaime raises his hand to protect himself, and the sword gets lodged in Jaime’s gold hand. The guard is confused, and Jaime impales him. Bronn is done with the final guard, and Jaime instructs him to bury the bodies. “Corpses lead to questions.”
Elsewhere on the beach, Ellaria meets up with Obara, Tyene, and Nymeria. The girls have the ship’s captain buried up to his neck, scorpions on his face, and whipping him on occasion. He admits he smuggled Jaime into Dorne (I guess Jaime didn’t pay him off well enough). Ellaria knows this must mean he is there to bring Myrcella home. She gives the girls a choice: Doran’s way and peace, or her way and war. All three side with Ellaria, and Obara throws a spear through the captain’s head, a period on the end of her sentence.
Cersei meets with her council and finds out they are hemorrhaging money. Against his weak protest, she sends Mace Tyrell with an envoy to sweet talk the Iron Bank. After all, he is the Master of Coin. Of course, this is just the start of a plan. She then sits with the High Sparrow and tells him that she wants to reinstate the Faith Militant, which was basically a holy army that was disarmed two centuries ago. She will allow the High Sparrow to arm the believers he deems worthy.
Clearly he accepts this offer, because we next see Sparrows, dressed in black robes with matching symbols etched into their foreheads, running through the streets of the capital, destroying nicknacks and barrels of mead, beating up those who they view as unsavory, and raiding the brothel. The final insult comes when they seize Loras Tyrell for “breaking the laws of gods and men.” As soon as Margaery hears of this, she goes directly to Tommen and accuses Cersei of plotting this just to get back at her for taking her baby away. Tommen is confused that they aren’t getting along, but swears he will set Loras free.
Tommen does this by going to his mother and demanding Loras be freed. Cersei agrees that they “can’t allow fanatics to arrest the queen’s brother, no matter his perversions.” She promises to speak to the High Sparrow, but reminds him that Loras is not her prisoner. Tommen next goes to see the High Sparrow, but his followers won’t let him in – they claim High Sparrow is praying. Tommen’s guards offer to kill the followers in his path, but the heckles of the followers – and the idea of spilling blood – scare Tommen back into his royal transport. He will find another way. When he returns to his queen and admits there was no way to free Loras without violence, she is not happy and goes to send word to her grandmother. As punishment, she suggests that she will not return to his side until her brother is free.
Jon Snow is signing off on requests for more men and supplies. One paper would require him to sign off on working with Roose Bolton. Jon refuses to sign, and Samwell reminds him that as the warden of the north, they will need his men and supplies. Disgusted, Jon signs off and Sam scurries away. Melisandre comes in and urges Jon to ride with them to Winterfell – no one knows it as well as he, and he can “chase out the rats.” He insists Castle Black is his home, so Melisandre uses the only method of persuasion: sex. He comes up with all sorts of reasons why he can’t screw her: Stannis would be mad; he made a vow to the Night’s Watch, before finally admitting he is still in love with Ygritte. After nearly raping him, Melisandre finally takes her leave.
Also at Castle Black, Shireen asks Stannis if he is ashamed of her because of her greyscale. He tells her how a merchant gave her the disease as an infant, and how everyone said she would die from it, early and painfully, and suggested he send her away. He instead called every healer he could find and they eventually stopped the disease and saved her life. She hugs him happily; it takes Stannis an uncomfortably long time to return the hug.
Sansa is lighting a candle to her aunt Lyanna when Baelish finds her to tell her he is riding to King’s Landing at Cersei’s behest. Sansa can’t go with him, but she is afraid to stay alone with the Boltons. He assures her that Stannis is on his way to liberate the north from the Boltons, and will give her a title. If – if – he doesn’t, she will simply take Ramsay as her husband and hints that she should use her feminine wiles to bring down House Bolton. Before he leaves, he gives her a kiss that is just a bit too tender. (I told you – creepy uncle.)
We end in Meereen, where Hizdahr Zo Loraq meets with Daenerys to once again try to persuade her to reopen the fighting pits. While they are arguing, the Sons of the Harpys run amok in the city (which leads me to believe Hizdahr might be leading the Harpys). The Harpys begin slaughtering people ruthlessly, and the Unsullied are dispatched to keep the peace (and by that, I mean kill every last Harpy). The Harpys seem to easily outnumber the Unsullied, and violent, bloody battles break out. Grey Worm fights valiantly, even after being stabbed. Barristan joins in the fight, and with the other Unsullied in their quadrant dead, the two defeat the Harpys on their own. It is an epic, bloody battle that ends with Barristan maybe-dead and Grey Worm near death. (Barristan had already been stabbed, and one of the Harpys was getting ready to slit his throat – really seal his fate) when Grey Worm kills him.
You can watch a preview of Episode 4.05, titled “Kill the Boyd,” below.
