I started creating RopeofSilicon.com in 2003, but one year before that a little show called “Fastlane” premiered on FOX, and while it did worm its way into the first four months of 2003 that was where it died. The self-described “adult music video” has the look of C.S.I. Miami in all its warm color blasted neon, a soundtrack reserved for ’90s MTV and enough female ass and sexual innuendo to make for a kick ass time. That’s right folks, the “complete” series DVD set of “Fastlane” was not sent to me with the hope that I may cover it. Nope, I requested this bad boy as this is one of those guilty pleasures I was always sorry it gotten taken off the air.
In 2002 I was still living with a couple of roommates and one of them and I just happened across a FOX primetime listing of “Fastlane”, a new show starring Peter Facinelli, Bill Bellamy and Tiffani Thiessen. Of course, we knew who Thiessen was from her days as Kelly on “Saved by the Bell” when she went by Tiffani Amber-Thiessen and gave us all reason to watch TV on Saturday mornings, TBS reruns and whenever the hell else that show came on. Bellamy was something of an MTV regular and I didn’t know Peter Facinelli from a hole in the wall, but I gotta admit if anyone considered him the second coming of Tom Cruise I wouldn’t say they were wrong.
To go along with our young model stars we have producer McG (Charlie’s Angels and “The O.C.”). This was his baby and he is featured on the featurettes on the final disc in the six-disc set, which surprisingly, are original and copyright 2008 if you can believe that. I can’t quite tell how much is archival interviews and what is new, but the fella that goes by the name of Big Boy and played Aquarius on the show has lost about 300 of those 500 pounds he was packing on the show. Dude ain’t exactly Big Boy anymore, he’s just Boy.
The pic you see above is a screen capture from the pilot episode which was directed by McG and written by “Jericho” producer John McNamara whose largest claim to fame is probably writing a few episodes of “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman” back in the mid-’90s. “Fastlane” mixed sex, drugs and rock and roll into a story centered on an experimental police outfit housed in what was dubbed “The Candy Store” (pictured at the top of this article). Facinelli plays Van Strummer and Bellamy plays Deaqon Hayes, two flyboy cops recruited into the project. At the helm is Tiffani Thiessen as Billie, the project was her idea and the gist of it is that they are going after the big boys in crime. They don’t carry badges and not even the cops will know they are cops. Whatever they seize they keep and whatever they keep they use. Their parking lot is filled with Ferraris, Porsches, drugs, bikes, diamonds and just about anything else you would expect to be inside a place called “The Candy Store”. Basically the premise opened up the writers to just about any scenario.
The show packed a huge guest star list including Bill Duke, Jay Mohr, Robert Forster, Krista Allen, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Ali Landry, Terrence Howard, Mischa Barton, Naomi Campbell, Isaac Hayes and Tommy Lee. That’s right, before Howard was Djay in Hustle and Flow he was panning casino heists as Alton White in “Fastlane”. On top of that two “O.C” faces popped up in “Fastlane” by way of series star Mischa Barton playing an ’80s wild child and Navi Rawat as an ex-drug addict before she popped out Ryan Atwood’s love child.
The thing is, “Fastlane” is not a great show if you look at your television in terms of realism or logic. However, if you are looking for an alternative to the endless amount of real-life crime dramas on television now consisting of lord knows how many missing persons dramas, psychic crime advisors, C.S.I. knock-offs then “Fastlane” is the answer. This show is pure fun and it was well casted considering how goofy it all really is. The show never takes itself seriously, has plenty of hot pieces of ass for both genders, a ton of shit blows up and it uses slow motion more than any show in history*. Point being… I like it.
Now, unfortunately the show got cancelled after its first 22-episode season so there is no telling if Billie got hooked back on heroin or what exactly happened there, but I know I will return to this series set again. It’s too much fun to ignore.
The DVD hits shelves on July 8 in a six disc set. There aren’t many special features outside of a few featurettes, an outtake reel and some deleted scenes, but give it a shot if you are up for the challenge. Hell, if you watched this show when it was on I can’t imagine you not being interested in checking it out again. If you are interested you can buy it here, but I won’t hold my breath.
*Not a verified fact.
