A Christmas Eve poem from your perverse pals at Shock Till You Drop
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the town
HE came a-stalking
With nary a sound!
In his hand was a list
With many a name;
The ones who’d been naughty!
The ones to be shamed!
He knew where to find them –
Entangled in beds
Enacting the wild dreams
That filled their young heads!
He’d watch them while stroking
The axe in his sack.
Oh yes! They’d be punished
With hard, heavy whacks!
One who had sprung from the bed
To avoid the splatter
Was torn open and gutted
And that settled the matter!
The moon on the breast of a newly slain girl
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the blood in her curls
And the chuckling killer, so lively and quick
Defiled the corpse in the style of Old Nick!
His eyes – how they twinkled!
His cheeks how ruddy!
How he loved this night!
So long and so bloody!
That drooling mouth!
That fearsome jaw!
The beard of his chin
All matted with gore!
The stump of a leg
He held tight in his teeth
As he chewed through the flesh
To the bone beneath!
He stood back at last
To admire his craft;
He sighed with contentment
And whistled and laughed.
And with that he exclaimed
As he drove out of sight –
‘Happy Christmas to all
And to all a good night!’
Merry Christmas from Shock Till You Drop!
